Life

17 Parents Confess Secret Thoughts About Kids

by Lara Rutherford-Morrison

When people have kids, they take on not only a living, demanding, tiny human, but also a huge weight of expectation. Our society tells us that having children should be the most fulfilling, joyful experiences that parents ever have. That they should love their children unconditionally and equally. That their children should take precedence above all other desires and interests. For a parent to admit to not always feeling this way can be seen as almost sacrilegious, a betrayal of children and parenthood and FAMILY VALUES. Lucky for them, there is Parenting Confessional, a Tumblr where parents can say anything they want to say, without judgment.

Parenting Confessional was started in 2014 by Julia Fierro, author of the novel Cutting Teeth . By its very existence, the site recognizes that parents aren’t perfect. Ideal parents may love parenthood all the time and do everything for their children just right, but real parents take shortcuts, make mistakes, and have bad days sometimes. On Parenting Confessional, they can anonymously admit to all of the things that don’t fulfill the parameters of “perfect parent,” things that might make other people uncomfortable. In an interview with Bustle last year, Fierro discussed the power of simply putting thoughts into words, saying of the website,

There’s been a lot of hilarious posts, and then there are some that I’m unsure about posting, and then there are a lot that just express how difficult it is. Sometimes people will send in a confession, and they’ll say, “Thanks; I feel better already, just for typing it out.” Everyone, even if you’re not a writer, can make sense of something by putting it down or putting it into words. I think there’s a second of something valuable in typing out a feeling.

And then there’s the benefit for people reading it. Either they’re reading them and feeling like, At least I’m a better parent than that person! Or, they’re reading them and saying, “Oh, I’m not alone! I thought I was a freak or an inadequate parent because I was feeling this.” There’s a benefit for the poster and the reader.

Read on for some of the site’s funniest, strangest, and most disturbing confessions:

1. The tiny PITA

My daughter is only six but she’s such a pain in the ass I already feel sorry for her future spouse.

(Anonymous)

2. How to get a new phone

I gave my phone to my 2-year-old and let her ruin it so my husband would buy me a new one.

(Anonymous)

3. Breakfast of Champions

I fed my child cookies for breakfast, then made myself a mimosa with his 100% juice.

(Anonymous)

4. Competing with the dog

I’m due in a few weeks and am terrified that I won’t love my son as much as I love my dog.

(Anonymous)

5. Teenaged angst

My teenagers are assholes.

(Anonymous)

6. Freezing time

I worry constantly about the day my kids will stop getting excited to see me, stop thinking I’m the best thing in the world. They are 5 and 8 and I wish I could freeze time.

(Anonymous)

7. Boner killer

Sometimes, I wake my baby on purpose to avoid sex with my husband.

(Anonymous)

8. Like mother, like daughter.

My daughter is so much like me. If I wasn’t her mother I would hate her.

(Anonymous)

9. The Lifetime movie plot

My kids were conceived with IVF. They look nothing like my husband or I, and, although we have never voiced our fears with each other, I know he wonders too… what if they aren’t ours?

(Anonymous)

10. Who is this random kid?

Sometimes I feel like my son isn’t even mine. That he’s just a child I’m baby sitting.

(Anonymous)

11. The saddest ice cream truck in the world

I tell my 6-year-old son that the only time the ice cream truck plays music is when it’s sold out.

(Anonymous)

12. Moms are more than one thing

Moms whose whole lives revolve around their children annoy me. They’re the moms who are at the school everyday, volunteer for everything and brag about it on Facebook. Being a mom is a huge part of who I am, but I have other interests and like to talk about things other than my children sometimes. I am many things in addition to being a mom and don’t want to feel like less of a mom for it.

(Anonymous)

13. OUCH

I love my daughter to the core, but it burns my soul that she isn’t smart.

(Anonymous)

14. Playing favorites

Most days I have a favorite child.

(Anonymous)

15. Parents aren't the only ones with favorites

When my daughter told me that she likes me more than Mommy, it made me really sad and really happy at the same time.

(Anonymous dad)

16. In fairness, wine is awesome

I stopped breastfeeding my son early so that I could go on a book tour. And drink a lot of wine.

(Anonymous)

17. MacGyvering

We were at a hotel late at night and I realized we were out of milk. I fed my 18 month-old twins coffee creamers and water.

(Anonymous)

Images: Getty Images; Giphy(5)