10 Signs You're A Recovering Former Drama Queen, Because These Days You Help Solve Problems, Not Cause Them

One of the best things about growing up, stepping into our (mostly) stable 20-something selves is the dissolution of the adolescent drama. This certainly isn't to say a coworker doesn't get under your skin now and again, or that tiffs with friends are a thing of the decade past, but that the capital-D Drama just isn't cool anymore. In fact, you kind of go out of your way to avoid it entirely.

If you were one of the girls who kinda-sorta-not-completely-accidentally had a tendency to start drama a lot when you were younger, don't worry. We've all had our moment in the Regina George spotlight. But hopefully, we all grow up, and look back at our former ~*~Drama Queen~*~ days and laugh. Because the mix of hormones and social groups and the stressors of school and whatever else was a lot for our little, newly-blooming selves. Being a drama queen at one point in your life doesn't mean that you are relegated to that role for the rest of eternity. (And while we're on the topic, you should do yourself a favor and avoid people who refuse to accept that you've evolved past your dramatic stage of life because they will do nothing but hold you back in their insistence on defining you by an outdated idea of who you are.)

Here, all the signs you're a former, recovering drama queen:

You're staunchly anti-drama now. In fact, you're the known peacekeeper among your group of friends.

Somehow, the people who used to be the most possessed by drama are the ones who hate it the most once they move past it. Ironically enough, it tends to be the people who were most wrapped up in their own issues that unravel their minds and ground themselves eventually. They've seen how easy it is to let a little drama spiral into a lot of it, and how real the repercussions can be.

You know creating drama (or participating in it) is ultimately pointless

You may have once believed that standing up for yourself was important, even if it came at the expense of other people's comfort. And then you may have found that, while that is true to a degree, your adoption of that idea was totally out of whack. Because intentionally creating other people's discomfort under the excuse of "what you're going through" is probably the least effective and most profoundly uncool way to get the attention you were seeking all along.

You have a big issue with people who use "crazy" as an insult

Because usually, when someone calls a girl "crazy", they are trying to belittle or dismiss her feelings. Her very real feelings. Because you've been crazy about things before. You could easily have been called the "crazy girl" and in that moment, you weren't doing it out of anything you could (consciously) control. Even if you weren't suffering some mental illness, you were at least at the whim of your own emotions, and even when they are, admittedly, misguided in certain situations, nobody deserves to be called names for who and how they are, and what they're dealing with (which is a lesson you've learned well).

You now love the (healthy, constructive) ways you're dramatic

Your current type of "drama" is a kind that fuels your creativity and great story-telling abilities. It's a strength. You realize the only problem was not accepting it and all its glory. "Dramatic" does not have to be a negative thing – and neither does drama! It's only negative when it's wielded for control or attention or desire or love, when it intentionally (or otherwise) hurts somebody for no real reason other than just to do it. Because on the flip side, a dramatic flair is fantastic, if channeled in an appropriate way.

You know the difference between starting negative drama and being justifiably emotional

You can care and have your feelings hurt and be really invested in something and want to stand up for someone and still not create more of a mess than everybody's already in. There is a certain tact and grace you develop with the years, and most of it surrounds knowing when to let things work themselves out. (Hint: it's more often than not.)

Little things don't aggravate you the way they once did

You don't feel so ticked off by even the most innocuously seeming transgression that you go into a rage-spiral. You're just grown past that (and you've seen how little it really matters in the grand scheme of life.)

You just know there are more important things to worry about

As time goes on, you start to see real tragedies. You see parents die and kids your age, too. You see people struggling with depression and the repercussions of bullying and you get your heart smashed and you're pushed to your mental-emotional edge and you realize: there's a lot more at stake than you once realized. You're missing the parts of life worth noting when you're busy all but entertaining yourself with pain.

You still listen to other people's problems (but you don't actually cause them anymore)

Once a drama queen, always a bit of a drama queen. You probably love Netflix series and hearing interesting stories, but you've learned to channel it in a way that's productive and ultimately doesn't hurt anyone.

You don't feel that gnawing need for people's attention anymore

OK, you're the first to admit that you used to crave attention, which you can now see was the root of a lot of the drama you once seemed to be the center of. In reality, you wouldn't have labeled it a desire for "attention" as much for, say, "love". Or someone to hear you out. Now you're able to see that you were lacking something in your life, and you didn't know how to get it in a healthy, productive way.

You're sorry for the way you were—but not sorry for the great stories it gave you

You're sorry for who got hurt and how. You can admit that you weren't always your best self, but you can also forgive yourself, knowing that sometimes, it's just part of the process. (And when you're lucky, you grow enough to be able to look back at that process and laugh. It was ridiculous, but it's over, and if you can't laugh at it, you're not past it completely.)

Images: Paramount; Giphy(5)