I can't imagine how much money Rihanna must have right now as everyone in the world throws dolla dolla bills at her to avoid becoming the next "b****" that doesn't have her money. That's exactly the feeling that Rihanna's "BBHMM" music video tends to invoke in people who, you know, have any sense of self-preservation whatsoever. The video features Rihanna kidnapping a statuesque blonde woman and spending the day with her friends tormenting her, and hiding her limp body from the police, as Rihanna repeatedly calls someone and screams at them. The ending reveals this someone is her accountant, Mads Mikkelsen, the titular b**** who has been blowing her money on women and alcohol. When torturing his wife had no effect, Rihanna starts looking through knives to do a more direct job herself. So, by the time you get to the end of the seven minute video, there's really one question on your mind: WTF?
I'm not alone among fans in wondering exactly what I just watched — especially since it seems like, in comparison to his wife, Mikkelsen kind of got off light — but that's far from the only time in the explicit video that you're kind of left going, "um, what?" It's clear that the pop star was having a hell of a lot of fun with this music video, and it's even more clear that she is not one you want to borrow money from. Um. Ever. But don't take my word for it.
Check out these WTF?!?! moments below.
1. When We Saw Legs In A Trunk
And, in that moment, we all knew this music video was going nowhere good.
2. When This Woman Had Zero Questions
I mean, if I walked into an elevator and saw that, I would have at least one question. But maybe she just didn't want to get involved...
3. When They Hung Her From The Ceiling
Why, Rihanna, why? The fact that she didn't recognize you when she stepped into the elevator makes it clear she had nothing to do with this!
4. Rihanna's Many Costume Changes
It seems like every time she gets out of the car, she is wearing a different outfit. Does she have a fully-stocked closet in the car?
5. When The Police Officer Suspected Nothing
They bashed that woman over the head with a glass bottle in full view of the cop car. Did he really see nothing?
6. When They Were On A Yacht
What is this? A vacation? A kidnapcation?
7. When Rihanna Smiled Suspiciously
Did the officer not even ask where the fourth woman was?
8. When Hannibal Showed Up
How did she overpower Hannibal the Cannibal exactly?
9. When She Has A Chainsaw For Cheaters
So much for digging your keys into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive...
10. When They Twerked On The Lady
Why??? Hasn't she been tortured enough???
11. When Rihanna Sprawled On Her Money
Does this now make her the b**** that has her money?
12. This Image
Will haunt my nightmares forever. Thanks, Rihanna.
Check out the music video again below.
Image: YouTube (13)