Watch An Entire Display Of Fireworks Accidentally Go Off At The Same Time Because America, Y'all — VIDEO
Happy Independence Day, my fellow Americans! To Bustle's non-American readers: How are you reading this?! I thought America was the only country with the Internet, literacy, or English! At least that's the impression I got those eight years W. and his crew were in power! Jk, jk, you guys! I know that people are literate all over the globe, and that lots of countries speak English, and that Mark Zuckerberg invented the Internet for everyone. Wherever you are on the map, let's celebrate this holiday together with a fireworks display. Perhaps this entire display of fireworks going off at once.
The video is pretty straight-forward — an entire evening's display of fireworks accidentally went off in about 30 seconds over a scenic Italian vineyard, which sounds like something my Uncle Mark would do on purpose, by the way. You'd think all the fireworks going off at one time would be impressive as hell, but it's just sort of... loud. And... explosion-y. It's basically a 30-second Michael Bay movie. You could put this video on loop for 2 hours, get some CGI robots and a few A-listers, and you've got his next film. (I'm available for the script, Mr. Bay. I don't want to give away the whole thing but, spoiler-alert: Bruce Willis pushes Ben Affleck back in the ship right before they have to blow up the vineyard...again).
Call me old-fashioned, but I've personally always been one for a fireworks display that takes its time and builds to a modest but glorious grand finale. I also like to pretend the ones that burst into light and then have lots of little sparkles twinkle as they fall to the earth is a bunch of fairies being born, but that is neither here nor there, and don't you dare judge my childlike whimsy, haters.
Enjoy the hot mess of a display below, and Happy Birthday, America!