The women of the Real Housewives franchise wear a lot of hats. They are mothers, cooks, writers, models, alcohol connoisseurs, and entrepreneurs. In fact, the one role many of them don't actually take on is "housewife." These ladies are pretty talented in multiple areas — or at the very least, enthusiatic and entertaining. This is especially true when it comes to their musical endeavors. Plenty of Real Housewives have made attempts at singing careers. But not all Housewives are created equal so some of these musical endeavors are better than others.
When it comes to ranking these "singers," I'm not necessarily talking about artistic ability; there are just some ladies who are more entertaining than the rest. The things Real Housewives fans find enjoyable are unique, to say the least. An outsider might not be impressed by one of the ladies attempting to sing, but once you know and love them, like us fans do, there's more context added that can make a performance pretty endearing. There's just something magical about the Housewives turned singers. They are a breed all their own.
The conclusions below take a lot more than vocal talent into account. Relation to Real Housewives story lines, craziness, enthusiasm, and overall entertainment value are all considered when deciding who the "best" singers are in the franchise.
7. Porsha Williams
I'm just going to give Porsha an A for effort. Don't get me wrong, she actually has a great singing voice, but this song missed the mark. The beauty of a Housewives track is that there's usually a humorous undertone and some inside jokes. Let's just say, Porsha's song "Flatline" is appropriately named.
6. Melissa Gorga
Melissa Gorga definitely has that pop star look, but that's about it. Nowadays, it seems like the mother of three has given up on her musical aspirations, but before that she built a recording studio in her home and performed at a club opening during a Real Housewives of New Jersey episode. She's no Celine Dion, but her song "On Display" is actually very catchy. It's fun dance floor pop that is easy to sing along to.
5. Kenya Moore
Kenya Moore is always trying to build her brand and market herself, so instead of being embarrassed by her public freak out during a vacation episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, she decided capitalize and turn her quote from the incident into a song. "Gone with the Wind Fabulous" is the ideal Housewives song because it is not at all serious and it directly references the show. She may not win any Grammy Awards, but Kenya's song will live on forever in the Real Housewives universe as a classic.
4. Sonja Morgan
I wasn't even sure if I should count Sonja in this ranking because it's a major stretch to label her as a "singer." But pretty much everything Sonja does gives me life, and I'll use any excuse I can to bring her into a conversation. The reality star opts for talking in hushed tones instead of actually singing during her burlesque performances, but I still consider them to be musical numbers. She may be a little bit eccentric, but every time she hits the stage, she epitomizes that signature Sonja essence.
3. Kandi Burruss
Real talk, Kandi is the only legitimate singer in this group. She's an amazing singer and has written major hits for artists like TLC — she even won a Grammy for writing "No Scrubs" — so you must be wondering why I didn't rank her as number one on my list. She is clearly the most talented singer, but there's much more to being a Real Housewives singing sensation. Kandi is just not enough of a mess. This is just straight up talent.
2. LuAnn de Lesseps
I never expected someone so prim and proper like The Countess to let loose and hop on the mic, but she did and it's amazing. Every time she does, I love it so much. She's has so much fun and sings such funny songs. "Money Can't Buy You Class" is timeless in my eyes. And her new single "Girl Code" is infectious and hilarious.
1. Kim Zolciak
Kim was the first Housewife to step into the recording studio (other than Kandi, of course) making her a trailblazer for all the others to follow. "Tardy for the Party" is a great pump up song when you're getting in the mood to go out. It's so silly and she's not the best singer, but she is having the best time and it's the pinnacle of a Real Housewives jam. If you don't smile and bop when you hear "Tardy for the Party," then there's something wrong with you because this song is amazing in its own way.
The Housewives become caricatures of themselves when they get into these songs — in the best way — and I hope that they all continue singing to bring joy and humor into my life.