We've all been there — stuck in that period when things go from "hot and heavy" to "maybe tomorrow." For most people, the ebb and flow of desire is just part of the natural order of a healthy sex life. Life gets in the way, stressful situations pop up; you know the drill. Feelings (and egos) get hurt. And next thing you know, you’re Googling ways to up your sex drive. It happens. There’s no gauge for how much sex you should be having. Sure, a new expert weighs in on what’s average or healthy every day (or so it seems), and the media paints the world as a non-stop sex party, but all that really matters is that you and your partner are satisfied.
That being said, a change in your sex drive could indicate a physical or emotional problem — so it’s best to look into it. Getting problems like high blood pressure or depression under control are crucial to a healthy sex drive. Your body may be trying to tell you something by using your vagina to get your attention. If you’ve been struggling with a low sex drive, and you or your partner are unhappy about it, there may be a simple solution.
1. Have Sex (Only If You Want To)
I saw on Dr. Phil once that you have to have sex to want sex. It seemed pretty absurd, but it turns out that having sex can actually make you want to have more sex. If you haven’t done it in a while, and you’re not strongly opposed to doing it, then get those hormones flowing!
Has it been a while since you’ve had a really good conversation with your partner? What about a romantic date? Your problem could be that you’re feeling a little bit disconnected. All couples go through these periods of low sex drives, especially during the years when you’re really busy working to establish your career or start your family. Carve out time on a regular basis to make sure your love is both mental and emotional. That will help you get the physical back on track. Can’t think of anything to talk about? End each night by naming your two most favorite and your two least favorite moments of the day.
3. Take Better Care Of Yourself
I know. It’s super annoying (and kind of condescending) when every single article about every single health problem recommends diet and exercise. Unfortunately, when you're looking to up your sex drive, this advice is true. When you are eating poorly, not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water and not exercising, your libido can take a hit. Making healthier choices will especially help if fatigue and low energy factor into your sex drought.
4. See A Doctor
There are so many medical reasons that could explain your stalled sex drive. Hormone imbalances, depression, thyroid issues, medication side effects, heart disease, nutritional deficiencies…the list goes on and on. It'll easy your mind to see your doctor and either rule out all that stuff or know the problem (so you can find a solution).
5. See A Therapist
Every 2 minutes a woman experiences sexual assault. An estimated 1 to 10 percent of the population falls somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum. Bad breakups can cause trust issues and lingering emotional distress. Even just the day-to-day drama of life can take a toll on your sex drive. Getting it all out and developing better emotional coping skills could re-light your fire.
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