I really hate trying to describe my "perfect guy" to someone. Because no one will ever be Han Solo, OK? But recently, I took another stab at this description, and began trying to explain to a friend exactly what I was looking for in a guy. So, the usual: smart, funny, caring, really into all sorts of nerd culture like Star Wars and video games, preferably wearing Converse sneakers, loves his family, isn't afraid of a challenge ... and then I stopped describing this mythical guy and just said, "I really just picturing Chuck Bartowski." Because Chuck Bartowski, from NBC's spy dramedy Chuck , is pretty damn near perfection.
If you watched the show during its 2007-2012 run on NBC (or have since caught up with all the episodes on Netflix) chances are you'll agree. There's never been anyone like Chuck in our lives, and there probably won't be again.
Chuck followed a regular story of boy meets girl, girl turns out to be a spy, boy accidentally becomes a spy, boy-spy and girl-spy fall in love. But underneath that story, there were so many more layers, and Chuck Bartowski wasn't just a regular guy trying to save the world (and succeeding). He was a real (fictitious) person. Over its five seasons, Chuck really became someone we could root for, and clearly, I grew personally attached to him. I also think his name is incredibly fun to say, so there's that.
I'm willing to state for the record that Chuck is perfect, and there is no one out there who will compare. Need some hard, solid evidence?
1. He's Funny
But Chuck isn't funny in a practical joker way. He's just a funny human being. He's got a dry and smart sense of humor, and also he's terrified sometimes. There is nothing funnier than someone in a crazy spy situation who starts cracking wise.
2. Solid Nerd Street Cred
In his bedroom, Chuck has a classic Tron poster. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, folks.
3. He Loves His Family More Than Anything
Chuck and his older sister, Ellie, have spent most of their lives without parents — mom left back when they were young, and their dad was never really around to begin with. But when Ellie has a wedding coming up, Chuck knows that it would mean the world to her if their father was there. So Chuck searches tirelessly for a father who basically abandoned them, just to make his sister happy on her special day.
4. He Repeatedly Asks The Girl Of His Dreams To Run Away With Him
I'd have to go back and count for real, but Chuck asks his handler turned soul-mate, Sarah Walker, to run away with him approximately 65,000 times over the course of the series (OK, it's a very rough estimate). Sometimes she flat out says "no." Sometimes she doesn't give him a solid answer. Sometimes she says "Yes." But it's the fact that Chuck keeps asking this question. Like, he already knows the answer (sort of). But he keeps asking it. He's never going to let this girl go, come hell or high water (or assassination attempts).
5. He's Loyal To His Friends
Love Morgan or hate Morgan, he is Chuck's best friend. These two have been together since the very beginning of their lives, and nothing is going to break them apart now. No matter what crazy, insane things Morgan comes up with next. Even though Casey clearly hates Morgan a lot. Chuck loves him, and that's all that really matters.
This also includes Jeff and Lester. Chuck's got a soft spot for them as well, and it warms my heart.
6. He's Doesn't Hold Much Of A Grudge
I'm talking, of course, about Bryce Larkin. And maybe "grudge" is the wrong word. But after Bryce gets Chuck expelled from Stanford — 12 credits shy of graduating — Chuck accepts his fate as is. He's not happy about it. But he's also not going to let it destroy him. And he's certainly not going to let Bryce be the person who destroys his entire life.
7. He's Brilliant
Even without the Intersect in his brain, Chuck is a pretty smart guy. He was on a scholarship to Stanford for engineering, remember. And even though at the Buy More he wasn't using his full potential, he eventually got his life together — by becoming a spy! — and started making things happen.
8. "Charles Carmichael"
For some super-secret spy missions, Chuck adopts the persona of "Charles Carmichael," who is, like, a retired billionaire. It's Chuck's version of James Bond, if James Bond had no idea what he was actually doing and had none of his spy skills and sort of made everything up as he went along. If Chuck is unavailable, I'll take Charles.
9. Those Converse Sneakers
As wise Mindy Kaling once wrote in her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?:
I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors. They key, of course, is that you need to replace your Chuck Taylors every single year. You cannot be lax about this. Those shoes start to stink like hell. They cost forty dollars. You can afford a new pair every year. And if you can't, why can't you? You have much bigger problems. Stop reading this and go deal with them.
What is it about Converse? Like, why am I (and Mindy) attracted to a pair of shoes? I wish I knew. Regardless, Chuck is always wearing his Chucks, and my heart just goes SWOON.
Images: Warner Bros. Television (2); Giphy (9)