Entertainment

What's With The Goat In This JC Chasez Music Vid?

by Kristie Rohwedder

Less than two years before Justin Timberlake brought sexy back, another ex-'N Syncer recorded and released his very own tribute to the act of copulation. “All Day Long I Dream About Sex” (not to be confused with Korn song “A.D.I.D.A.S.”) was the third single off of JC Chasez’s debut solo album, Schizophrenic (not to be confused with ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell’s debut solo album, Schizophonic). For reasons I will never comprehend, the song was not exactly a commercial success in the U. S. of A. That said, the synth-driven track remains one of the greatest, most under-appreciated gifts the year 2004 gave the world.

With lyrics like “Keep in mind, I'm a love machine/Get it twenty four seven, call me any time you need” and “All day long I dream about sex/And all night long I think about sex/And all the time I think about sex with you, with you”, "All Day Long I Dream About Sex" is about as subtle as the Wolf from Red Hot Riding Hood or the titular character from the Austin Powers trilogy. TL; DR: The lyrics are perfect.

Following the lyrics' lead, the music video is, to quote one of JC's Mickey Mouse Club costars, not that innocent: JC and two dancers gyrate on a rotating bed (speaking of Austin Powers!); there's a '70s porno scene/a costume party/a setup for a cheesy joke (so a pizza delivery guy, a nurse, a cop, a teacher, a cheerleader, and a biker dude walk into a motel room...); sex tape footage is spliced throughout.

And then, this happens:

And then, this happens:

And then, this happens:

And then, this happens:

Please wheel over my fainting couch, for I am too overwhelmed by all of this. I need to lie down. While I decompress, I will stare at JC's double suspender ensemble situation.

Seriously, what is with the double suspenders? I wouldn't be surprised to find out there's a third pair of suspenders hiding underneath that vest.

Hey, just because I don't see a third set of suspenders attached to his waistband doesn't mean they aren't there. I must suspend my disbelief (sorry not sorry).

Here is the (probably NSFW) masterpiece in its entirety:

Images: JCChasezVEVO/YouTube (7); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (6)