Glittery Covers For Cat Butts Exist, So Let The Glorious Twinkling Butt Shaming Begin — VIDEO
Part of the fun of owning a cat is their totally submissive stance to take whatever costumes you'd like to stuff them in. At least momentarily. Cats are clever little fur babies with a knack for removing whatever ~adorable~ adornments you attempt to get them to wear. Almost immediately, the cat bow tie is on the ground. Or more likely, stuffed under a couch cushion with kitty hopes I'll never find and make him don it again (spoiler: I always find it, Kevin). But now there's a sparkling butthole cover for your cat because the Internet certainly has its ways, doesn't it?
When I first heard of the advent of such fashionable technology, I immediately assumed it was some sort of sticker situation. Why this was my immediate thought is unknown. It's definitely a half-baked concept with many assumptions. Among those assumptions are the ones that bet you don't mind almost direct finger-to-butthole contact with your cat and also that that butthole will take and hold adhesive. I've clearly thought about this a lot. Anyway, The Twinkle Tush is less of a sticker earring on the butt and more of an ornate necklace hung from the tail. Either way, sounds like a potentially threatening bathroom situation, if you know what I mean.
Slides right on! And—here comes another assumption—assuming your cat keeps its tail upright at all times and never sits/lays down, you're golden. By "you're golden," I mean "your cat's butthole is golden," assuming that's The Twinkle Tush color you selected. So many assumptions!
Check out the promotional video below:
It makes me feel a bit better to see The Twinkle Tush sliding in that one frame:
IT JUST WOULD NOT STAY STILL, GUYS. It wouldn't. Ignore Cricket. Orange cats are usually jerks.
But here's the thing: You can't buy The Twinkle Tush. And no, it's not like you have to earn The Twinkle Tush right to replace your cat's natural butthole with Lisa Frank beauty marks. It's actually not real. I don't know if this fact is more of a disappointment or a relief, honestly.
When you go in to purchase a cat butt necklace, the link redirects you to a site peddling cat hammocks. Although those are also ridiculous, they don't make quite the fashion statement of The Twinkle Tush. To be clear, that statement would be: "My owner needs a hug and possibly medication."
I have faith, though, y'all. Someone's upset from learning the truth about The Twinkle Tush will propel the idea into an upsetting reality. Have faith. The Internet always delivers, albeit not always in a timely manner.