12 Very Deep And Philosophical Questions I Have For Generation Z

SEATTLE, WA - JULY 15: (L-R) Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson of One Direction perform on stage at Century Link Field on July 15, 2015 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Mat Hayward/Getty Images)
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I've suspected for a while that I am a premature Old. I'm not by definition old (I hope??) just yet, but my inability to follow teen trends, jargon, and mannerisms is pretty embarrassing. Basically, I have lots of questions for Generation Z. To be clear, let's define Generation Z together. There are many resources online with which one might gauge generation parameters, but for the sake of just deciding and moving on, let's say this: Generation Z is anyone born in 1995 or after. Cool? Cool. 

I'm the youngest in my family and tend to gravitate to friends up to a decade older than me. I don't wanna say it's because I'm mature, but it's probably because I'm mature. And by mature I mean I experienced the early onset of FOMO-dissipation, wanting to eat lunch at 11 a.m., and adapting late to commonplace acronyms. My comprehension of Generation Z is totally vital but not all the way there. I'm trying, guys. I mean, bye Felicia. I mean—I don't know what I mean? Should I try to communicate via Instagram instead? Is that still cool? Honestly, I don't know how the Baby Boomers or Generation X began to deal with all this madness. But I'll try. First off, I have some important philosophical questions I need Generation Z to answer to start my education:

Have you ever hit on someone IRL?

Try it. You might impress someone and score a hot date. Or send them sprinting in the opposite direction. It's a bit of a gamble, I guess, but still one worth testing.

Does fun count if you can't show evidence of it on social media?

I know this applies to some Generation Yers, but at least we experienced a time in which social media didn't exist. Sure, many of our first romantic relationships were foraged through AOL Instant Messenger conversations, but that's different. I gotta admit stealing ice cream is more fun when not streamed.

How's your average WPM?

I thought hiding out in MSN chatrooms in third grade trying to befriend Australians gave me an edge with the typing game, but I have a feeling y'all have me beat. So spill. What's your words-per-minute typing average?

Do you know how to use a pay phone?

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I know it doesn't come up THAT often, but when someone stole my phone and my computer broke in the same week two years ago, this happened. I had to use a pay phone when my roommates weren't around and gracious with their cells. Again, I know it isn't a frequent necessity, but shouldn't you learn to figure that one out just in case?

What do you think about Clueless?

I'm just curious. No judgement, except if you dare to argue the fact that is for sure the best movie ever made ever. But really, I want to know.

Do you know what this is?

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Well?

So is Snapchat synonymous with texting at this point?

I used it briefly for cat and drunk photos (sometimes at the same time!), but once I realized how much space it took up, I deleted it. Meaning, I still don't quite grasp it. Is this whole y'all coordinate plans and keep up? Do you write messages on paper and Snapchat that to communicate? Help.

What are the real rules about sexting?

Because I'm pretty sure I'm doing it wrong. Emojis don't really go, right? I can't tell.

Who is your favorite YouTube celebrity and why?

And how? What is that, even?

Can you explain One Direction?

I know they're a band but also, they seem to be a...lifestyle?

How do you pronounce "IWSN"?

And does that work, ever?

Do you vape, bro?

Sorry, I had to. Also, I'll vape with you. I still have a little youth left in me, you know.

Images: Getty Images; Giphy(10)

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