No matter how much of an adult you may be, there is one chore we all hate: grocery shopping. The tedious lists, nigh-Arctic temperatures of the freezer section, and, worst of all, having to put on pants, make it one of my least favorite tasks (others include washing dishes, drying dishes, washing clothes, folding clothes, vacuuming, sweeping, cooking, and decorating). One man, however, has done his best to end the tedium of regular grocery shopping: Jeff Wysaski left useless grocery tips all over the supermarket, and they are guaranteed to make your next trip much more enjoyable.
You may recall Wysaski from earlier this year, when he relentlessly trolled the bookstores of Los Angeles with ingeniously-titled section markers, or the time he replaced labels in a pet store with more accurate labels. (Who
wouldn't want to adopt a judgmental tree frog?) As the mind behind comedy websites Pleated Jeans and Obvious Plant, Wysaski literally makes a living off of this kind of thing, and it's easy to see how he got this far. "Try to fill that eternal pit of sadness inside you with cookies!!!" reads one grocery store tip. In another, shoppers are instructed to "stay warm in the freezer aisle by rubbing up against the other shoppers." I completely lost it, however, at the warning not to pour Red Bull on pigeons for fear of it growing an extra pair of wings and getting bullied. If Wysaski doesn't look out for the pigeons, who will??The other tips are similar comedic gold, and you can check them out below:
May the Force be with you, Luke Ryewalker.