I, like 75 percent of women, have never had an orgasm from penetration alone. No matter how deep, stimulating or satisfying the penetration is, I need clitoral stimulation to be able to reach an orgasm. This troubled me — I had seen the ladies of Sex & The City rave about all of the glorious, mind-blowing vaginal orgasms they were having and I couldn't help but wonder: is there something wrong with me? And what am I missing out on?
During sex, I feel there is an expectation from my male partners that I always reach orgasm, every time. That they can just thrust really hard and deep and I will moan in ecstasy and validate their socially-constructed male imperative that they make their female partners orgasm. But it just isn't that simple.
The vaginal orgasm allegedly comes from the G-spot. Named after the German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, who first described it in the 1944 Western Journal of Surgery , it is a highly erogenous area of the anterior wall of the vagina.
Scientists have debated for decades if the G-spot actually exists, or if it is merely a cultural imaginary. The truth isn't so clear cut. The G Spot has never been conclusively verified as a biological entity. The study also found correlations with personality components in women who did report having G-spots: For instance, these women tended to be more extroverted, arousable and open to experience, which may indicate a psychological component to the G-spot.
Researchers at King's College London in the United Kingdom conducted a study of more than 1,800 female twins. CNN reports that,
"The study suggests that there is no genetic basis for the G-spot and that environmental or psychological factors may contribute to whether a woman believes that she has a G-spot. "
In other words, the presence of the vaginal orgasm in popular culture may lead us to subconsciously believe we are being stimulated by a G-spot, even though it does not physically exist.
The report says:
"But a recent study that adds credence to the G-spot concept. French researchers Odile Buisson and Pierre Foldès did ultrasounds of a small number of women having intercourse with men. By looking at the changes in the vagina, the researchers found physiological evidence of the G-spot. This study is under review at the Journal of Sexual Medicine."
Does the G-spot exist? The jury is still out among the scientific community. But we wanted to hear what real life people think about the G-spot. I sat down with four men and four women to get their take.
"There's definitely a certain spot in my vagina that feels particularly good when touched, but I don't believe there is such thing as a G-spot orgasm. All of my orgasms have come from stimulating my clitoris; I've never been able to orgasm from just penetration alone."
2. *Alana, 24:
"Yes, the G-spot totally exists! I think it's why doggy-style feels so good."
3. *Christa, 20:
"I don't think the G-spot exists. I think that yes, it feels really good to have deep sex, but the stimulation is probably coming from his penis pushing against my cervix."
4. *Helena, 24:
"I think there are certain spots that feel especially good when touched. That being said, I've never had an orgasm from being touched in one spot — my orgasms have always come from my clitoris."
1. *Tarin, 20:
"Ummmm..I think it depends on the woman. Probably for most women."
2. *Cesar, 22:
"Yes.. I know from talking to other women."
3. *Kacey, 22:
"Yes, I know it exists, because I have had girls that were able to come multiple times in a row. And I wasn't touching their clit. It was just a rhythm and angle I was hitting."
4. *Tim, 25:
"Yes, the G-spot for sure exists. Whenever I penetrate my girlfriend in a certain way that hits her vagina deep and way in the back, she always says, "that's the spot!". If I keep penetrating her consistently at that spot then she has an orgasm pretty quickly."
If you'd like to take a trip down memory lane, watch the sex myths you believed as a child below (and subscribe to Bustle's YouTube page for more videos):
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Images: Flóra Soós/ Flickr; Giphy