Apparently armadillos are giving people leprosy, which is one of those disturbing and ridiculous things that only happen in Florida. So far there have been nine reported cases of individuals contracting leprosy, a rare but curable skin disease, this year. To be fair to Florida, people can contract the virus from armadillos anywhere, though the CDC does say that there's a relatively low risk of contracting it via desert rodent. And while leprosy is not at all a joking matter, we can't help but laugh a little... because these kind of weird things only seem to happen in Florida.
Have you ever Googled the term "Florida man..."? If not, do so, right now. The number of weird news stories starting with "Florida man" is unheard of. It's a cultural phenomena, which proves that Florida is truly home to some of the most fascinating and wacko people in the U.S. (Sorry, Grandma.) It seems like a weird news story comes out every single day about the questionable actions of a Florida resident.
For example, an article published Wednesday titled "Florida man picks fight with parked city bus — loses" details a disgruntled bus rider who attacked the bus because he was unhappy with the high fare. He headbutted the doors, shattering the glass, and then fell down.
For those who are fans of Florida Man, you can follow him on his Twitter account or watch his adventures on Tumblr. But for a sneak peak into the crazy minds of Florida criminals, here are 10 ridiculous things that could only happen in the Sunshine State.
Neighbors Kill Each Other Over Dog Poop
A man was indicted last week for allegedly killing his neighbor. The man allegedly shot his neighbor twice after the victim allowed his dog to poop on his lawn. The local HOA looks really tame in comparison now.
No, not Lyme Disease. Lime Disease is a special affliction, common among Florida residents. It's a severe burn caused by the combination of sun and lime juice, and it's extremely painful. It's sometimes also referred to as "Margarita Dermatitis."
Lots & Lots Of Prison Escapes
According to an article in GQ, Florida has more current prison escapees than any other state. There are 63, to be precise. Which is... terrifying.
Rules Of The Road Are More Like Suggestions
People are never bored in Florida, because they live every day like they're in an action-adventure movie. Intense car chases? Jumping over bridges? In Florida these are every day occurrences. It's totally normal to get distracted by your GPS and jump a drawbridge.
Bingo Night Gets Intense
An 82-year-old man got extremely angry when a fellow nursing home resident sat in his favorite seat during bingo night. As retribution, he took an ice pick and slashed the 88-year-old bingo offender's tires.
Unexpected Wildlife Mingles
Yup, that's a raccoon riding an alligator. No, I don't have an explanation.
People Are Unexpectedly Aggressive With Their Food
In recent news, a young man who was "high out of his mind" allegedly assaulted his father with a bag full of McDonald's burgers. Elsewhere in the state, a man was arrested for simple assault after apparently throwing a hot slice of pizza at his roommate. Although he denied throwing the pizza, there were incriminating sauce stains on his shorts.
There Are Actual Zombies
The walking dead are real, and they are in Florida. There are way too many cases of people attacking each other and trying to gnaw on faces. Remember the infamous Florida man who started eating a defenseless homeless man on the side of the road? Or the other resident who thought he'd take a bite out a nearby teenager? Why are there so many cannibals in Florida?
There Are Also Vampires
Well, at least according to one Florida man who was caught dancing on top of a police SUV. Why? Because the vampires told him to.
People Use Unnecessary Punctuation Marks
He's just really excited to be here, okay?