Vicki's Words of Wisdom for New 'Housewives'

by Kristie Rohwedder

Thanksgiving is over, but I would like to take this opportunity to give thanks to Tamra Barney, Twitter, and Instagram for revealing the (maybe) newest cast member of The Real Housewives of Orange County . Bravo has yet to confirm the casting, but Barney posted not one, but TWO now-deleted IG photos with (maybe) new housewife Shannon Beador AND a not-cryptic tweet: "Excited to be going to the game tomorrow with Shannon & David (new housewife) can't wait to see you." The tweet remains on the Internet, but the photos were taken down. But thanks to screengrabs, anything on the Internet, like a diamond, is forever.

Why would they be taken down? I'm not a detective, but I'm going to assume it's because they gave up the ghost/Beador will be a Real Housewife. In my mind, Bravo/Andy Cohen sent a text along the lines of: "TAMRA, WTF?! Delete those NOW or else we'll stop playing reruns of your wedding miniseries. Way to muck up the cast announcement!" Again, this is Assumption City, and I'm the mayor.

So, the casting of Beador is not official-official, but it's Tamra-had-to-delete-the-photos-for-some-reason-official. I called Vicki Gunvalson.* She's the Original Housewife, I thought. She'll have some answers. Understandably, she couldn't speak on whether or not Beador is the newest Housewife. She didn't want to get in trouble with Bravo or Andy Cohen. However, she did say that "if" Beador was cast, she has some advice for her.

*Okay, okay. You want to split hairs? "Called Vicki Gunvalson" = "looked at a bunch of Vicki Gunvalson GIFs."

So, here it is: Things A New Housewife Should Keep In Mind, Per the GIF-ospel of Vicki Gunvalson

Before you can be honest with others, you must be honest with yourself.

Pee happens. Never forget that.

Most of the Real Housewives do not fear conflict. When you sense a fight is a-brewin' but you're not up for the challenge that day, it's best to:

But hey! Sometimes, a conflict is worth it. Sometimes, you've just gotta call a friend out.

Wait. Never mind. Confrontation rules! Never be afraid to tell a classy lady to put a sock in it.

When cutting someone out of your life, bring a gift.

Resourcefulness and fashion CAN mix!

It's never not an appropriate time to bring up mortality.

When in doubt, let out a "WOO-HOO!"

Images: realitytvgifs/tumblr (7); triponbroknbeats/tumblr; bricesander/tumblr