7 Christmas Movies Scenes That Make Absolutely No Sense
Holiday movies are full of miracles and magic. Somehow, singing makes sleighs fly and wishing on stars makes dreams come true. But don't get us wrong — these moments are pure Christmas magic.
Instead, we have bigger problems believing in other plotlines from holiday films. Some rather inexcusable mistakes make these seven Christmas movies less believable than an overweight man sliding down your chimney.
The rule at the center of the Tim Allen movie, The Santa Clause: whoever is present when one Santa dies automatically becomes the next Santa. Okay, sure. Cool. But if that's so, why haven't there been female Santa Clauses in the past? Surely, with the sort of hazards these temporary Kris Kringles endure, at least one woman would have had to had witnessed a falling Clause. Or is this some sort of universe in which women are afraid to check out strange noises (like falling people) outside of their homes?
Why, Exactly, Does Santa Bring All This to Town?
In the classic stop-motion animated movie Santa Claus is Coming to Town, we learn the origins of holiday traditions like Christmas trees and Santa's annual midnight ride. The problem? Though this serves as fruit for lots of silly songs, there's absolutely no reason to make up any of these origin tales, especially Santa's. His legend comes from Saint Nicholas, who's got a rather rich history himself. Why couldn't they have pulled from that? Too easy, I suppose.
Image: Santa Claus is Coming to Town Screengrab
In Love Actually, Natalie (Martine McCutcheon) is not only allowed to say "shit" in front of the Prime Minister, she's also supposed to be slightly heavy, evidenced by one remark that she has "rather sizable thighs." On this, we call bullshit. Sizeable thighs? Try mega-babe in a red coat I still envy to this day.
Look, we all love Home Alone and its most classic moments, but at least one of them makes no sense. Kevin McCallister screaming his face off while using aftershave is forever cemented in our brains, but my father ruined this moment for me as a kid and now I'm imparting that knowledge on to you: Kevin didn't actually shave, so there's no way that aftershave would have stung his face enough to make him scream. Sorry, everyone.
Image: Home Alone Screengrab
Good Grief, Charlie Brown
I love you, It's Christmas Charlie Brown, but there's always one scene that drives me up a wall. At the end of the movie, after Charlie's faith in Christmas is shot, he has his sad Christmas tree that's basically a branch with a couple of pine needles stapled to a wooden plank in tow. Yet, when the other kids get their hands and loads of decorations on it, suddenly it's a full, shapely, green tree with plenty of needles. Impossible? Totally. Festive and cute? Fine.
Image: It's Christmas, Charlie Brown screengrab
The Child Left Behind
In the Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the young Grinch — an orphan — is supposed to have run away because he was bullied as a kid. And we're supposed to think these Whos in Whoville are super swell, when, as a society, they saw that a child ran away and just thought, "Eh, no biggie. Dude was weird." Those Whos are cold, man.
In every movie version of The Nutcracker, the titular toy-turned-living man is always wildly handsome. However, nutcrackers, as a breed, are a pretty terrifying bunch. If there was a human version of the classic nutcracker, he'd probably be a pretty terrifying sight to behold — let alone, one very dangerous kisser.