Is Ted Cruz Basically Spider-Man? The Presidential Candidate Loves Superheroes, But ... Well, You Know
There's a select subset of the American community who believe Ted Cruz is a hero. I don't happen to know any of them, but they apparently exist. As he campaigns in the 2016 presidential race, Cruz seems to want to increase their numbers. In an interview with The New York Times Magazine, Ted Cruz shared his love of superheroes, particularly Spider-Man.
Comic book and science fiction heroes are becoming a pattern with the Texas senator. His impersonation of Darth Vader during a filibuster is infamous. He compared the Washington establishment to the Empire, then said those time-honored words with an altered voice, "Luke, I am your father." As a teenager, Cruz also named his business, Cruz Enterprises, after Iron Man's Stark Enterprises. Asked if he was attracted to antiheroes, he responded, "Certainly not to Vader. I was always a Han Solo guy. And when it comes to comics, I was more of a Spider-Man guy."
It's hard to relate Cruz to the roguish Star Wars pilot Han Solo, mostly because I can't imagine him chasing stormtroopers between exchanging romantic dialogue with Leia (though it's not as hard to think of him encased in carbonite). However, there do seem to be some parallels between Cruz and Spider-Man. Even though Cruz likely doesn't use web powers and fight crime in tights, the two have more in common than you might think. Here are a few similarities between Cruz and the Marvel hero:
Any superhero has to have a love of justice, and Spider-Man in particular has an appreciation for what is just. Cruz served on the Senate Judiciary Committee, proving that he must also share a respect for justice. However, that feeling doesn't seem to apply to gay people, in Cruz's opinion.
These superheroes don't seem to get along well with aliens. For Spidey, that means fighting his alternate identity, Venom. For Cruz, it's arguing for a harsh immigration and border security system.
Lack Of Experience
Many superheroes have always been fantastic, such as Clark Kent who had his abilities from birth. That's not the case with Cruz and our favorite arachnid. Spider-Man was bitten as a young adult and had to come into his powers. Before becoming a senator, Cruz had never held public office before, according to All Voices. They both had a lot to learn.
Peter Parker created his webbing as a tool for crime fighting. Cruz enjoys access to his weapons, too, and has fought gun control. Luckily, there are no governmental restrictions on expandable webs.
Every great hero has to have a great tagline. Nothing will ever top "With great power comes great responsibility." Cruz's slogan, "Reigniting the Promise of America" is pretty lame in comparison.
Before he gets his powers, Peter Parker is completely uncoordinated. Cruz is accident-prone in that it's usually a mistake for him to open his mouth. He constantly emits quotes that would make even the Green Goblin cringe.
The heroes have a standard wardrobe — and both contain a lot of red. Spider-Man has to wear a leotard to conceal his face and give him maximum agility. Cruz has to wear khakis and a button-down with the sleeves rolled up, or no one will know that he's a Republican.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man has a secret identify to protect himself and loved ones from enemies. Cruz has to protect himself from looking unappealing to voters. Cruz has changed his mind on trade and gun control ideas because that's what a true hero does.
So maybe they're not really that much alike. But until I see Spider-Man 2016, Cruz will have pass as a hero for some.
Images: Getty Images (5); Giphy