Why Giraffes Are Tearing The Internet Apart

The internet is full of useless information. This, we know — it's where we turn to settle debates and check meaningless facts. But perhaps no question is quite as pointless (or, conversely, adorable) as the one currently trending on Twitter: How would a giraffe wear a necktie? Yes, really. No one can agree on the answer — and it's tearing the internet apart.

It all started with a single tweet from Brooklyn-based comedian Jeremy Hammond, reading, "When giraffes go to work do you think they put the tie at the top or bottom of their necks? Asking for a friend." Brushing aside the facts that giraffes don't need to work or earn a salary, the intriguing proposition caused quite a stir. The adorable query, posted Nov. 17, has since been retweeted nearly 9,000 times, and the debate continues to rage on even several weeks later. It seems — despite the obvious fact that a giraffe is more of a cravat kind of animal— that no one can come to a consensus on how the tie would be worn. It may well be the biggest philosophical dilemma since the whole "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" thing started.

Still can't quite picture the absurdity of a giraffe in a necktie? The original tweet included an useful comparison of what a tie would look like worn on the base of the neck as compared to the top near the head:

A giraffe's neck is typically six feet long, which is a lot of ground for a normal tie to cover. Despite being the tallest land mammal, giraffes, like humans, have seven neck vertebrae; however, unlike humans, they do not possess opposable thumbs and certainly wouldn't be able to tie a Windsor knot. This, of course, has not stopped internet commenters from weighing in with their many varied opinions on the subject, though; and to be fair, both sides have sound reasoning, so it really appears to be a matter of taste.

Team Top feels that a high tie is more professional, and would make a better impression at a meeting:

While Team Bottom believes that a tie at the base is more in line with how a human would wear it:

If you are looking for real physical proof, the debate has even inspired some to search for examples from books and movies, as well as create their own office giraffe artwork.

Some commenters suggest that we are focussing on the wrong kind of ties, and should instead turn our attention to bow ties:

While others believe that multiple ties are in order to accomodate a neck of that size...

... or perhaps just one big tie to cover the entire neck:

Or even (gasp!) no tie at all, according to Zootopia:

When the images of the giraffes were compared to images of humans in ties, the answer seemed fairly clear — with Team Bottom winning the debate.

However, if you are still not convinced, take a look at a real, live giraffe sporting a piece of human clothing:

Phew! Glad we sorted that out!

Images: Dmitri Sotnikov / 500px/500px/Getty Images