4 Things I Learned When I Started To View Myself As A Work In Progress

I have dubbed this summer the summer of discomfort. It feels very naive now, but back in the spring, I looked towards this summer as the ultimate good time. What I didn’t take into account were the lingering effects of a global pandemic on my personal relationships and on my work — on everything, really. In early June, I found myself wondering how to move forward with so much uncertainty about the future.

The usual things — yoga, exercise, journaling, lots of YouTube meditations with bizarre graphics — helped me ease through the tumult. The main thing I tried to get comfortable with was discomfort. It’s the itchy, murky feeling that creeps in when you’re staring blankly at your email during a late afternoon wondering what’s next, or it might be the deeper discomfort that results when you’re anticipating a life change you don’t feel entirely prepared for. But if you’re uncomfortable, that likely means you’re doing something right. Being a work-in-progress means you’re doing what it takes to get there. Below are four ways to focus on the process rather than the end goal.

1. Zero Excuses

Returning to the idea of discomfort, there’s a lot of stretching and pushing that has to happen as you work towards your goals. That’s the part that I’ve struggled with. Being uncomfortable sends alarm bells to my brain that something’s wrong. It makes me want to stop what I’m doing, retreat from whatever it is that’s causing me anxiety. In the past, that meant I would stop trying.

Success, however, comes down to effort. For me, “zero excuses” means that you show up for yourself. Even when you make a mistake or experience a setback, “zero excuses” means that you don’t let it stop you from trying again. As psychologist Sherrie Campbell wrote for Entrepreneur, “effort is the most composed and effective way to recover from a mistake.”

2. Accept Who You Are Now, But Keep Moving

This is the hardest one. Self-improvement articles or podcasts might tell you to make peace with where you are now, but it can be hard to actually practice. I was getting drinks with friends when discussion turned to pets and backyard patio furniture. It felt like an embarrassing reminder of my lack of a dog or place to put a picnic table.

Making peace with your work-in-progress status — which might sometimes feel like more work than progress — can be particularly difficult to accept when you’re comparing your life to others. My solution to this is simple: keep moving. For every twinge of “why isn’t that me?” that social media can give us, do something that moves you forward. Maybe it’s spending an hour on your side project or sending one cold pitch email. Part of being comfortable with where you’re at is knowing that you’re working to set yourself up for future success.

3. Put Eggs In A Lot Of Baskets

Accepting yourself as a work-in-progress can also mean trying things that make you feel a bit exposed to the world. I like to present the most polished, savvy version of myself to people (who doesn’t?) but I’ve been struggling with what I want my career to look like. Last week, I had my first appointment with a career coach. Before this summer, I would have maybe avoided telling many people about this, worried that it would look like I didn’t know what I was doing.

I’m beginning to learn that simply putting the energy of desiring change out there always brings something back. Two words stand out as the best advice for this: reach out. Email the person you’ve been interested in collaborating with or submit that essay to the lit mag you always read.

If the collaboration doesn’t work out or the submission gets rejected, think of this study from Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management. Researchers analyzed data from scientists who had applied for grants early in their careers. Those scientists who didn’t receive funding were 6.1% more likely to publish a high-impact paper than those in the group that did receive funding. Dashun Wang, one of the professors who conducted the study, said that in the long run, “the losers ended up being better.”

4. Work With The Mess

In an interview on the podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart, S. Christian Wheeler, a professor at Stanford Graduate School of Business talks about embracing the in-the-moment setbacks. “When we’re confronted with personal failure, it feels bad to us,” Wheeler says. “And we work hard to try to avoid that failure, and that can often be counterproductive. But failing is something that’s on the pathway to success.”

This has been, to say the very least, an uncomfortable time for us all. Maybe you’re trying to do your job with a partner or kid around, or maybe mental health struggles are making your days feel like a trudge. You might be in the early stages of building a business and wondering whether it’ll ever reach more eyeballs. I love this advice from productivity coach Holly Haynes: “Sometimes you have to slow down to speed up.” Carve in downtime that way when it’s time to work, you’ll have more energy and focus. Especially during the last weeks of summer, savor times when you can slow down and appreciate where you’re at now. It won’t look perfect, but you’ll absolutely look back on it and remember exactly who that person was and what they were working for.