CONTRIBUTOR CONTENT
As Dating Apps Race to Add AI Hily Is Betting On Human Intelligence
As dating apps rush to automate romance, Hily argues that real chemistry still depends on instinct, honesty, and human connection.
Artificial intelligence (AI) is increasingly woven into daily life, helping young professionals work, plan, and communicate more efficiently. But when it comes to finding a meaningful romantic connection, can it really make the process better? Just about every dating app on the market includes some sort of AI in its algorithm, recommending potential partners based on your interests and likelihood of “hearting” or “swiping right.” But can it really judge who would be a good partner based on numbers and interests alone?
Hily, a dating app that allows you to “date as you are,” is betting on human judgment, while its competitors race toward AI automation. Its ultimate wager? Preserving the human element in dating, especially as technology plays a larger role in how people meet and connect.
Meet Hily's Time-Tested HI Technology
With over 42 million downloads across the globe, Hily Dating App just satirically “reintroduced” human judgment as its HI Technology. “HI,” short for “Human Intelligence,” was positioned to match users based on instinct, potential chemistry, and an unshakeable gut feeling in the way an AI matchmaking engine simply cannot replicate. Unlike the emerging model where AI bots screen and message one another to decide your matches, letting two real people connect only after the algorithms have already approved them, Hily’s HI keeps human instinct in charge from the very first spark.
Human intelligence and intuition have existed for more than 300,000 years. There may still be value in trusting what has always shaped human connection: instinct, curiosity, and the ability to recognize chemistry in real time.
When Hily satirically announced its “HI” (Human Intelligence) Technology, the joke landed because it pointed to a real tension in modern dating: as more apps experiment with AI-driven matching, some daters worry that too much automation could distance people from the human instincts that make connection feel real. In fact, Hily’s T.R.U.T.H. Report (Trends & Realities: Unfiltered Truth Highlighted) suggests that both Gen Z and Millennial Americans are actually exhausted with “AI-Powered Dating.”
They don't want more optimization. They crave real connections. They want to be themselves and want to date as they are. They’re rejecting perfection because nothing can quite replace a human that truly gets you.
And while U.S. daters, 62% of women and 69% of men (including 62% of Gen Z and 70% of Millennials), are overwhelmingly using AI to create their dating profiles and alluring conversation starters, many will admit that they’d be turned off — and immediately lose all attraction — if they found out their match was doing the exact same thing.
They’d rather be alone than date someone who comes off as inauthentic.
Can AI Actually Replace Connections?
This sounds like another joke. But the reality is that Hily's data on AI usage and dating sentiment points to a reality much more complex than a simple "AI is bad" narrative. In fact, while 57% of women and 60% of men know social media’s “perfect” dating image is unrealistic, dating content still shapes how many Gen Z daters feel about their own romantic lives.
The curiosity is real, but for many daters, the idea of an AI romantic partner still feels uncomfortable or emotionally unsatisfying.
For most, the use of AI for communication helps them to articulate the things that they'd really like to say. They use it for grammar and spelling, and also for help generating their biography information.
In fact, 45% of Gen Z and 62% of Millennials say AI helps them bring their “A-game” to in-app dating.
Some compare using AI to write your biography to having a friend help you curate your profile or make it look more presentable. Most users are okay with this… as long as the information the AI was fed was really about them and accurate. Citing a lack of creativity, most users have issues with things that are “made up” or with feeling “catfished” by misleading photos and conversations.
Authenticity can be very important. And in this scenario, Hily’s T.R.U.T.H. Report found that 82% of Gen Z and 87% of Millennial American daters are already using AI for online dating. At the same time, 69% of Gen Z and 74% of Millennials believe AI makes dating feel less authentic.
It cannot replace true self-expression.
Human Intelligence Cannot Be Replicated
People lie. Numbers lie. And there’s a whole world offline that AI hasn’t even touched on yet.
According to Hily's CPO Liubomyr Pivtorak, the people behind the dating engine “believe the best matches still come from human intelligence: curiosity, vulnerability, chemistry, bad jokes, awkward first messages and all the imperfect things that make dating real.”
“We'll use technology where it helps,” he states, “but we're not rushing to replace the human part of human connection just because AI is trending.”
As the rest of the dating industry races to integrate AI matchmakers, AI-written openers, and AI-coached conversations into every swipe, Hily is making an even louder public statement on the human aspect of dating.
Julie Nguyen, Certified Dating Coach at Hily, talks about how outsourcing romantic connections to artificial intelligence can impair our natural intuition. As she points out, “When you connect with someone and feel the click, that's authentic.”
Nguyen specializes in the mechanics behind true romantic compatibility, modern dating pitfalls, and the rising influence of AI on the future of interpersonal relationships.
She explains that “If we begin to outsource connection to AI and optimize for love, we start to lose the intuitive ability to choose for ourselves — and lose what that process teaches us about connection, which is beautifully human.”
That instinct, curiosity, chemistry, humor, and even the occasional “ick” all play a meaningful role in how people understand attraction.
AI cannot replicate that gut feeling or "the ick" of red flags. It also can’t mimic the charm and personality of the person who will grow old with you on the porch, yelling at the younger generation to stay off the grass.
And while it can predict human behavior, does it really understand a person’s true intentions? What about detecting the potential chemistry and romance between two unlikely human beings? And does it actually save time when looking for a lifelong partner or potential best friend? Because most users are experiencing burnout from the dating scene.
Up to 95% Of AI-Using Daters Plan To
Continue Using AI
The question isn't whether AI will play a role in dating. It's whether the industry remembers which parts of the experience were never meant to be optimized.
82% of Gen Z and 87% of Millennial American daters are using AI for online dating daily, and 95% of those users plan to continue using it over time. Nguyen frames the risk: "If we begin to outsource connection to AI and optimize for love, we start to lose the intuitive ability to choose for ourselves."
The truth is, Hily isn't anti-AI. In fact, it uses algorithms in its Finder and verification. But the argument here is much more specific: the human, messy, unoptimizable parts of dating are features — not bugs.
For many daters, the pitch has started to feel like it misses the point.
Dating isn't a problem to be solved. It's inherently inefficient, uncomfortable, and unpredictable — and that's not a flaw in the system.
While AI can be impartial, affordable, and available around the clock, dating coaches still emphasize the value of true human connection, the emotional depth that comes with it, and the vulnerability it brings. Context and accountability matter, especially if you’re trying to improve your interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence before actually dating.
But these daters, both Gen Z and Millennials, aren’t interested in using AI to date directly.
According to the report, when using AI for online dating, American men (52%) and Millennials are more focused on drafting the perfect message. Women (51%) and Gen Z instead use AI to write their bios.
Gen Z is far more optimistic than Millennials about AI’s ability to replace real romantic partners, with 70% of Gen Z and 32% of Millennial American daters saying they think it’s possible. But more than half feel less confident showing up in person after leaning on AI in their own conversations, more uncertain and insecure during the actual date, despite being even more “witty and charming” in person.
When it comes to love and romance, most large-language models (LLMs) have been trained largely from fanfiction. So, it's no surprise that AI misses viable connections because it lacks the ability to experiment, act goofy, or do things “just for kicks.” The satire of HI lands perfectly because it names something real — the screening mechanisms behind humanized dating actually determine the attraction between two people and form bonds no algorithm can reproduce.
There’s Beauty In Real-Life Interaction
Many daters are looking for more genuine, unfiltered connections, and the data reflects a growing desire for intimacy that feels real rather than overly curated.
When daters list their future demands, they aren't asking for a flawless digital facade. Instead, they’re demanding safety and certainty over all else. They want scam detection and improved matching. And when asked about features, daters would like to see everything from in-app chat suggestions to message writing, photo editing, and bio creation. Many also want AI as a dating coach or conversation simulator.
Relying too heavily on AI can make dating feel less personal. When daters use it to smooth over every imperfection, they may arrive at the actual date feeling less confident and unsure whether they can live up to the version of themselves presented online.
Technology can make the search easier, but the emotional depth of real connection still has to come from the people involved.
So, polish up your bio. Use AI to shape your hobbies and interests. Heck, even consult with AI to create the world’s most memorable date. But by all means, stay true to yourself, show up with intention, and never forget to be unapologetically you.
BDG Media newsroom and editorial staff were not involved in the creation of this content.
