How Danielle Walter Found Her Happy Ending

Danielle Walter has, by her own analysis, had a year encompassing “a lot of phases.” Last March, the 33-year-old content creator moved to San Francisco from her hometown of San Jose, bringing her 1.2 million Instagram followers along as she settled in. She updated her Hinge location, continuing the pre- and post-date recap videos she was best known for, where she’d share details about everything from (attempted) first kisses to misaligned expectations.

In June, she got asked out at the gym — and during the first date with her secret “Brazilian man,” she went into the bathroom to record and post a video saying he might be her husband. By September, they were official, and after a few months of silence, she released a 21-part “docuseries” on social media introducing Lucas Alcantara to her page.

Now, one year after her big move, Walter is engaged. Alcantara, a 32-year-old personal trainer, popped the question on March 16, and they shared the news via a People exclusive two days later.

To those who have been following her for years, this may all feel like whiplash — the “brunette Carrie Bradshaw of San Francisco” was off the market just like that. (According to her IG bio, she’s “now in [her] Charlotte era.”) But in Walter’s mind, it’s all divine timing. “It feels surreal because it is everything that I ever wanted,” she tells Bustle. “It is faith personified to see everything you dreamed of before your eyes.”

Walter is feeling “aligned and at peace” now, but her fairytale romance hasn’t been without bumps in the road. Online forums dissecting her relationship and spreading rumors about Alcantara led her to pull back from posting about him last fall. The public reception to her docuseries was mostly critical, and she later called it “a swing and a miss.”

In the last few weeks, Walter says she’s found a healthier way of handling the negativity. “I've put some pretty strict boundaries in place in terms of feedback, because I don't want feedback from the world to change what my real human experience is,” she says.

Below, she shares the proposal story in her own words.

Congratulations! How are you feeling?

I'm feeling great, honestly. We've been talking about this for a very long time, so it just feels like the natural next thing.

You've been sharing some behind-the-scenes snippets of the day. How much did you know, and how much was a surprise?

I knew the proposal was going to be in March, but up until a couple of weeks before, I still didn't know the actual date. I had a couple of appointments, and I was just verifying with Lucas, "Is this OK? Should I reschedule this?" He had said, "You're probably going to have to reschedule those." So that gave me an indication of which days were an option.

We're also in premarital counseling. Our sessions are Tuesday nights. So I was like, "Are we going to be able to say we're engaged by our next session?" And he said, "Yes." Using that, I narrowed it down. But other than the day and time that I needed to be ready and the fact that there was going to be a proposal and a dinner, I didn't know anything else.

For the proposal dress, I was like, "I need something that is multi-terrain, and would be appropriate on a beach or in a field or in a forest.” I forgot my shoes, but it ended up being fine because I could walk barefoot on the beach.

How did the moment feel? Was it what you expected?

If you watch back the video of me getting ready, I made up none of that. Everything that happened was authentic in terms of me having to do my makeup three times because I kept doing the wrong thing — I picked up a brush and went right across my face with a bright red powder blush.

I told Lucas I wanted to take in the moment. In the proposal video, which I’ll be sharing soon, it will be apparent to the viewer what I'm trying to do — I literally had moments where I just stopped, and I was trying to look at everything and was finding it hard to catch my breath.

It was overwhelming in a good way, and beautiful and exciting. We were both very nervous, even though we'd talked through this and knew it was our plan.

The ring is stunning. Can you tell me about it?

We worked with Dallas Diamonds. I was choosing between an oval stone or an elongated cushion. With an oval, you can get a lot more real estate for the carat size, so that's what we did. In terms of the band and the setting, it's alternating marquise and round, which gives it a vintagey feel.

You mentioned that you knew this was going to happen in March. How did you two decide on that timeline?

I know myself well enough to know after a certain amount of time whether or not a person is a long-term compatible fit for me. We wanted to have a proposal prior to living together, and I felt like being engaged within nine months was enough time to make that decision. That conversation happened two to three months into dating.

Hopefully this does inspire someone to say, "If Danielle found it, then I can find it too."

You shared a lot about your early dates with him. What were some of the first signs he was the one?

He knew what I did for a living and specifically what I was sharing, which was my dating journey. He was like, "I think what you do is incredible. You're vulnerable, and you share a certain art form." We had talked through, "Are you going to be watching these videos as I'm posting them about you?" And he's like, "I'm OK with either. You just let me know what you want to do."

We decided he wouldn’t look at my social media until I told him to. A few months in, once we officially got together, I was like, "OK, you can look." He asked me, “When did you know?” and I was able to pull up the video of our first date where I popped into the bathroom and said, "This could be my husband." It was a really special personal moment that’s date-stamped.

I had prayed that whoever my person was would describe me with a specific word, which I’m keeping to myself for now. When he dropped me off after our first date, he said, "I enjoyed our first date, and I just think you're so…” and he described me using that word. I freaked out because it felt like divine confirmation of, "Yes, this is a path I should continue forward in seeing this man."

I was reading old journal entries the night before the proposal, and I realized I didn't ask for enough when it came to what I wanted my partner to be. Lucas surpassed everything that I wanted. Sometimes it takes someone raising the bar in your real life for you to understand that that's possible.

You've been talking for so long about your journey to find love. What is it like to be living that out in real time?

There were parts of me that didn't believe I could have someone like him to accept all of me and what I do. It's very unique. It takes a very specific person.

One of my core missions when sharing my dating life is to create this collective experience and give women hope. Hopefully this does inspire someone to say, "If Danielle found it, then I can find it too."

If people are being really negative, that's actually not the worst thing. The worst position I could be in is if I was boring and people weren't talking.

Obviously sharing your life online means people are going to have opinions. How do you navigate that?

My art, and my job, is sharing my personal life. I've never faked anything. So if someone has an opinion about my content, it's actually about me.

I can't digest any of that, and I'm not designed to receive so much positive feedback either. So I have separated myself from the feedback loop because when I was even slightly involved in understanding what the narrative was, I was creating from a defensive standpoint of imagining what people would say before I even say anything in a video. That loses the art.

Since having these really strict boundaries of being completely disconnected, my happiness has exponentially increased in the last few weeks. I feel myself getting back to a truly organic creative standpoint, so that is really nice.

I’ve been thinking and praying over what success looks like in my job, which is really subjective. If people are being really negative, that's actually not the worst thing. The worst position I could be in is if I was boring and people weren't talking.

You made a video in January where you talked about the public reaction to the docuseries. Has it been since then that you've decided to take a step back?

Yeah. I went up and down when it came to looking at comments. Sometimes I would be more active, and sometimes I would say, "I can't even look today." There was no structure in terms of what I was doing to safeguard my mental and emotional health. So the big change happened probably two to three weeks ago.

How does the public nature of your job affect your relationship?

Lucas is definitely my support system. More often than not, I'm the one that needs reassurance, whereas he's super sturdy and stable. It's a lot of prayer together and trying to zoom out and see the big picture. A conversation we've been having a lot is that what you see on the internet isn't everything. What we share are little pieces of us.

Can you share anything about what's next, like wedding planning? What does that timeline look like?

Well, we got engaged a week ago, so I’m not exactly sure what those details will be. I do know that I will need help because I am not a planner in the way that it needs to be planned. I'm excited to enjoy the engagement bubble for a little bit longer.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.