Here’s What Happened When I Tried Drinking Less With The Help Of This Online Program

In partnership with vorvida, Bustle contributor Samantha Lefave spoke with psychiatrist Sara B.* about her experience with drinking during the pandemic and how using vorvida’s web-based program helped to shift her habits.

Before 2020, I already knew I was working too much. My job as an outpatient psychiatrist had me logging about 50 hours per week — something that isn’t all that surprising, given the recent uptick in adults experiencing mental illness. The State of Mental Health in America report found that from 2017-2018, 19% of adults experienced a mental illness — a number 1.5 million higher than the year prior.

But as soon as the coronavirus pandemic started sweeping the world, my weekly time at work looked closer to 80 hours. Patients I hadn’t seen in over a year were suddenly in desperate need of someone who could help them cope with COVID-connected stressors: financial instability, loss of loved ones, illness, fear, anxiety, and more. And as the world shut down, there was no longer access to coping skills and resources that might have normally helped — no seeing a therapist in person; no family or friends visiting for social connection; no hugs with anyone outside your bubble. It was all gone.

Of course, mental health professionals were also dealing with their own pandemic-related stressors. Adding on the massive influx of patient needs proved to be too much for some, and I saw many quit their jobs — leaving my patients without therapists, and me without trusted referrals. This all meant I was trying to provide support in a much bigger way. Oftentimes, this was via telehealth and, honestly, having to switch from in-office visits so quickly resulted in a very disorganized system for billing and a lot of extra work — with additional pressure from administrators to get it done quickly and “look at vacation time as more of a suggestion.”

To be frank, all of this — not to mention trying to parent my two children under age 10, both of whom, like many kids, had to navigate virtual schooling — led to a severe case of burnout... and a desire to drink.

Prior to the pandemic, I considered myself a social drinker. I would usually only imbibe when I was catching up with friends. I had no problem cutting out alcohol entirely when I cycled through the Whole 30 program on two different occasions. And as COVID hit, I didn’t really want to drink. I was putting so much energy into carrying through my healthy habits so I could take care of my patients.

But by summer 2020, that started to slip. Alcohol seemed like one of the only coping mechanisms still available amid quarantine. Working remotely didn’t help — knowing I didn’t have to drive and I could sleep in a bit because there wasn’t a commute meant my 5-ounce wine pours got a little bigger... and more frequent. Soon enough, I was indulging in at least one drink six days a week.

Fast-forward to summer 2021: With the world starting to open back up, my drinking didn’t slow. Sure, it had become less of an emotional crutch — the toxicity at my work was too high, so I gave notice and am in the process of pivoting to a full-time private practice — but with social distancing precautions decreasing, I could see friends again! In person! Many times that meant drinks of some kind.

Despite immediately feeling that sense of social connection, a part of me wanted to rethink my drinking habits. But it’s a lot harder than, say, clearly following a healthy recipe. There are psychological associations with alcohol; oftentimes I internally felt guilt around not drinking, or put pressure on myself to just have one.

Previous all-or-nothing approaches I tried weren’t sustainable, and they triggered my sense of deprivation. I needed strategies I could incorporate into my day-to-day life. Something that was flexible to what I was dealing with that day, that felt personalized and could help me really evaluate if I wanted a drink or not. And once I had that answer, I wanted to know how to not feel guilty about it either way. I needed resources that would help me address those mental connections to alcohol appropriately. That’s when I was introduced to vorvida.

When I had first heard about vorvida, it seemed like a dream: The web-based program offered a six-month structured plan, so any healthy habits I developed would be more likely to stick. (Some research shows it takes, on average, 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic.) It was customized to my own behaviors and habits. And it utilized proven cognitive behavioral therapy techniques that could help me manage my drinking. It felt like the Goldilocks scenario I had been hoping for.

After I signed up, the program walked me through all the great tools and techniques I often recommend to my patients — simple things like mindfulness and planning ahead. But having them presented to me in an organized way, and having the lines to how these techniques directly connected to my drinking habits, was the lightbulb moment I needed.

In my first week, my husband hosted a wine tasting — instead of mindlessly drinking, I occupied myself with helpful tasks that kept the event running smoothly. And when I did taste the wines, I sipped slowly, really taking the time to appreciate the different flavors within each one. Without vorvida reminding me that I had these simple tricks at my disposal, I’m not sure I would have done either.

Unfortunately, life really took a turn as I headed into my second week. While playing in the backyard with my sister’s dogs, I tripped and fell. Hard. As soon as I looked down, I knew — my leg was broken.

Of course, going through surgery and recovering naturally reduced my alcohol consumption. (There’s no way I was going to risk any sort of interaction with my pain meds.) But rather than look at this as a “woe is me” moment and reaching for a sympathy bottle of booze, I chose to see it as another opportunity to get my health back on track. I wanted to be healthy and help my body heal; alcohol would only interfere with that.

That said, the act of not drinking wasn’t always easy. Normally, physical activity is a big stress reliever for me, and now that wasn’t something I had access to. I really struggled with boredom and simply wanting a drink so I’d have something to do. In those moments, I found the surfer technique — one I hadn’t heard before — to be particularly helpful: I’d think of the urge to drink like a wave, reminding myself that it will eventually calm down if I ride it out. Doing so made it a lot easier to shift my focus on something else, like cooking, physical therapy exercises, or watching a show with my kids.

I also took vorvida’s suggestion to create a pros and cons list each time I wanted to pour a glass. Doing so really helped me think more about my intention, and it gave me easy reference material to help me better evaluate what to do next. Sometimes that meant skipping the drink and opting for a different activity; other times it meant going ahead and having one.

One of the best parts of the program, though, was how it really helped nix the guilt. There wasn’t this “abstain entirely or you’re a total failure” approach I’ve seen utilized so many times. Cutting out alcohol completely for the rest of my life would have been such an extreme change; one I didn’t feel was necessary. And vorvida’s non-judgmental approach did help me get out of the unhealthy pattern of drinking I was in. The brief messages sent to my email gave me moments of opportunity to check in, rather than default drinking to reduce stress, celebrate good days, manage boredom, or navigate social situations. So when I did decide to imbibe, it was a conscious choice I could feel good about.

I’m still working through my six months of the program, but the benefits I’ve seen so far — including going from 6+ days of drinking each week down to three — tell me vorvida is definitely worth it. It breaks down to $99/month, which really isn’t that bad when you think about how much people spend on a gym membership or trip to the salon for their self-care. And given the variety of strategies and exercises utilized — and how many friends I know who also want to curb their alcohol intake without abstaining completely — I’m pretty confident everyone can find something that works for them with the program.

To sign up for vorvida or learn more, visit us.vorvida.com. Vorvida® is not a health care provider and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you need medical assistance, please contact a health care provider directly.

*Name has been changed for anonymity. Vorvida was provided at no cost.