Divorce Attorney Holly J. Moore Tackles The “Living Together Before Marriage” Decision

In a time where relationship milestones are no longer set in stone, the decision to live together before marriage has become a common crossroads for many couples. Once a cultural outlier, cohabitation has become a modern romantic rite of passage, perceived as a “deeper connector,” an opportunity to glimpse into a future together.

Family law attorney Holly J. Moore, the founder of the Moore Family Law Group, has years of experience navigating the waters of marital disputes, and she offers a candid perspective on the “living together before marriage” decision.

“People tend to say you have to live with your partner before tying the knot so that you can get to know them better, but, in reality, people don’t get divorced because someone had left the dishes undone or forgot to make the bed,” says Moore. “These are surface-level issues, whereas real relationships — and their problems — go so much deeper.”

Moore’s insights stem from a career with Moore Family Law Group spent right in the heart of marital conflicts, where she has observed the increasingly complex and profound causes of divorce, ones that are miles away from everyday domestic squabbles. She points out that the reasons for a marriage’s downfall are more fundamental than everyday living habits: “It’s about compatibility, communication, and other deep-seated issues. If it comes down to that, it won’t matter who was the last to do the dishes or throw out the trash. Cohabiting really isn’t a cure-all for core disputes.”

Essentially, moving in together before or after marriage isn’t necessarily going to change the eventual outcome of the relationship — that is more likely to be determined by basic connection and compatibility. But for those considering the step, there are some legal factors to consider.

Moore states that when love leads to sharing a lease or buying a home together, it isn’t just a romantic decision; it’s a legal one. Her advice is unequivocal: Understand the legal landscape before taking the leap.

The legalities of cohabitation can be as intricate as the relationship itself. Dividing assets such as shared property or handling joint leases can quickly turn into a complex tangle. “It’s a scenario I’ve seen too often,” says Moore. “A relationship ends, and the legal fallout begins. Who keeps the house? How do we handle the lease? These questions can turn into a nightmare.”

This is why Moore recommends couples sit down with a lawyer before intertwining both their lives and assets. She emphasizes the importance of weighing not just one’s emotional bonds but the legal ties they are potentially forming. Getting a better grasp of this reality, she believes, can help couples make informed decisions that are not just emotionally sound but legally prudent.

For couples who do want to move in together, Moore offers a valuable roadmap. The cornerstone? Cohabitation agreements can serve as a safety net and provide clarity and security for both parties. Crafting these involves open conversations about finances, assets, and, of course, expectations. Such discussions, which Moore maintains should be done with a lawyer present, can ultimately strengthen the bond and a couple’s joint future.

“I understand that people will think these sorts of agreements are equal to ‘break-up preparations,’ but they are absolutely not,” Moore points out. “You’re not anticipating the end of anything. You’re just preparing responsibly for all eventualities.”

In a world where love and law often intersect, Moore’s insights serve as a reminder that while love may be the driving force behind the decision to move in, legal considerations play a crucial role in safeguarding the future of both parties.

Embracing such advice means that couples can build their shared life on a foundation of mutual understanding, respect, and preparedness — both emotionally and legally. In doing so, they set themselves on a course not just for a shared present but a harmonious and secure future, whatever it might hold.

BDG Media newsroom and editorial staff were not involved in the creation of this content.