Valentine's Day

14 Instagram Caption Ideas If You’re Not A Fan Of V-Day

"I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie."

Tired young woman working in home office at night
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Oh, St. Valentine's Day, how I loathe thee. The pressure of creating a Valentine's Day narrative that rivals a Hollywood rom-com makes me want to pull the covers over my head. Same? Then you're going to need these Valentine's Day Instagram captions for people who hate the love holiday. Whether you're single, dating or in a relationship, the unrealistic expectations of Valentine's Day can be frustrating.

In fact, a squabble over the origin of my Valentine's Day rose bouquet once led to a breakup after I learned that my then-boyfriend had gotten them from a co-worker who received the flowers in question but didn't want them. If we had forgone Valentine's Day altogether could we have avoided this fight? Perhaps.

Forbes reported that Valentine's Day stress is real, and this globally designated day of love can even prompt you to call your entire relationship into question as I did. "Valentine's Day can bring scrutiny on and strain your relationship," Bruce Y. Lee wrote. On the other hand, if you're single, the collective societal pressure to engage in the rituals of happy coupledom can have you doubting your life choices. Fortune reported that singles are more likely to engage in overly zealous dating-app-swiping behavior on Valentine's Day, and V-Day spending is second only to Christmas.

Because the pressure of Valentine's Day isn't enough, in the Midwest (where I am from), there is another stress-inducing romance day called Sweetest Day. Because apparently, people in the flyover states should suffer more. If you're a love-day hater, show your solidarity for your fellow anti-Valentine's-Day friends with these Instagram captions.

1. When There's No Cure For The Sickness

"Love is in the air. Try not to breathe." — Unkown

2. When Someone Tries To Hit On You

"Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan." — Unknown

3. When You’re Over All The V-Day Decorations

"Cupid is stupid." — Unknown

4. When You're Not Buying Into The Hype

Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.” — Jim Gaffigan

5. When You Want To Get Real About The Situation

"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks." — Joan Rivers

7. When You’re Throwing Some Shade

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore." — Lady Gaga

8. When Your Friend Won’t Shut Up About Her Perfect Relationship

"Soulmates only exist in the Hallmark aisle of Duane Reade." — Miranda Hobbes

9. When You’ve Been Burned Too Many Times

Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." — Laurell K. Hamilton

10. When You’re Bitter & DGAF

"I have my little list of those that treated me unfairly." — Jennifer Lopez

11. When You Won’t Cave To The Pressure

"I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie." — Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls

12. When You’re Just Over It

Love is a promise delivered already broken." — Steve Martin

13. When You’re In A Committed Relationship With Pizza

"Love disappoints. Pizza is eternal." — Unknown

14. When It’s Simple, Really

Relationships are the worst.” ― A.D. Aliwat

Seriously, there's no shame in designating Feb. 14 as a day to focus on deepening your relationship with your cat instead of trying to find a last-minute Valentine's Day date on the interwebs. Get yourself some pizza, and go to bed happy in the knowledge that chocolate will be on sale the next day. After all, that's the real gift of Valentine's Day.