11 Proven Ways To Rev Up Your Partner’s Interest In You
It's nice when you're together with someone and no longer have to worry about the in's and out's of dating, but that doesn't mean you have to stop trying to keep the spark alive. To keep things fresh and exciting, you might want to engage in some various ways to rev up your partner's interest in you, even if the relationship is going well. Whether you want to do more romantic activities, spice things up in the bedroom, or just spend more quality time connecting emotionally, it can't hurt to put in a little bit of extra effort — if you're up for it, of course.
"It can be easy for couples to become so preoccupied by work or social life that they take each other for granted and stop making time for deeply connecting with each other," says psychologist and relationship expert Antonia Hall, MA over email. "Touching, cuddling and showing love and appreciation for your partner stimulates chemicals in the body like oxytocin and dopamine, which foster feelings of attraction. Without that feeling of connectedness a divide can form, which can lead to communication issues, feelings of frustration, resentment and loss of interest."
A successful relationship requires sustained love and attention, but if you're not sure exactly how to do that, you might want to consider these 11 ways to rev up your partner's interest in you.
1. Incorporate More Touch
A great place to start is by making time for intimacy. "This may seem like a given, but it can fall by the wayside, even with the best of intentions," says Hall. "Even ten minutes a day of touching, kissing and intimately connecting with your partner can make a big difference."
2. Spend Some Time Doing Your Own Thing
Spending a lot of time with the person you love is great, but it turns out, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. A study published by the Journal of Communication found that couples in long-distance relationships have more meaningful interactions and higher levels of intimacy than couples who see each other on a daily basis. This doesn't mean you should stop spending time with your loved one, but take a day or two to do your own thing here and there. "Putting some time and distance between you and your partner can create the feelings of longing," says sex and relationship expert Megan Stubbs, EdD, ACS over email. "When you do return, there is a sense of urgency to reconnect and be together."
3. Do Something New And Adventurous
Whether you take a trip or just try a new activity together, doing something new with your partner can help keep that honeymoon phase alive. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that couples who spent time together doing new and exciting activities were more satisfied with their relationships than couples who participated in non-special activities.
4. Express Your Gratitude
"Everyone wants to feel that they are appreciated," says Hall. "By shifting your focus to what your partner is doing right, you take your mind off of nagging thoughts of what they did to annoy or frustrate you. When you acknowledge your partner by showing gratitude for them, you'll inspire them to want to do more to please you."
5. Actively Support Your Partner's Interests
Want a surefire way to strengthen your relationship and make your partner feel happy and secure? Support their endeavors. Research shows that people are more satisfied in their relationships when their partners actively support their efforts to expand their own horizons, according to Psychology Today.
6. Experiment In The Bedroom
"There are so many ways to play and explore in the bedroom," says Hall. "When you mix it up, you'll find new ways to please and be pleased." Hall suggests trying to tease each other's senses or bring each other close to orgasm then stopping. "Give your sweetie a sensual massage, or surprise them with a new toy," says Hall. "The body's potential for pleasure is so vast, and experimentations can continue for the rest of your lives, so never stop trying new things and you'll keep the spark alive."
7. Ditch The Electronics
If you both log off of Facebook and Instagram, you might find that you suddenly are forced to become more engaged with each other on a more deeper level. "Turn off the tv, set down laptops, tablets and phones, and talk with your partner," says Hall. "It may sound awkward at first, but it honors that you're both committed to each other."
8. Participate In Each Other's Hobbies
You may not always have the same interests, but giving your partner's hobbies a chance can help forge a deeper connection. Research published in the journal Social Cognitions found that integrating your partner's interests into your life leads to a greater chance of closeness, love, and relationship maintenance behaviors.
9. Change Something Little
"Maybe you wear cozy duck print pjs to bed, but consider switching up your bedtime attire," says Stubbs. "Consider wearing a lacy silky negligee or simply going naked. This change in what your partner is used to will definitely be a surprise and create a fun memory to look back on in days to come."
10. Work On Making Yourself Happy
How could your partner not be interested in you if you're working closer to become your best self? "They say smiling is contagious, and that can carry over into your relationships," says Stubbs. "Your zest for life can put a smile on your face and a glow about you that will be hard to miss. You partner will pick up on these cues and will want to join in on the good vibes."
11. Focus On Strong Communication
"Learn to discuss and solve problems together without arguing or fighting," says psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. over email. "When you can talk about your problems, you’ll stop fighting and competing, and therefore have more time for intimacy. Listen to each other; be interested in each other’s thoughts and feelings. Listening will bring you closer together."