Some people are lucky to fall in love with someone at first sight, but for the rest of us, it takes some time to figure it out. Sometimes, it's might not even be obvious to yourself that you have these intense feelings, but you may actually be exhibiting some subtle signs you're in love. Recognizing these feelings can be useful in many instances, whether you're in a relationship and haven't said the words yet or have been spending time with getting close with someone that might no longer be platonic.
"It can be hard to determine consciously if you are in love with someone because maybe the way you feel and interact towards this person is different to the way you usually interact and feel with someone when you're in love," says behavior and relationship expert Patrick Wanis PhD over email. "It might also be hard to decipher if you're in love with this person because you might have resistance. Perhaps you don't really want to be in love with this person because they're not your type, they don't fit the typical criteria for what you're looking for in a partner, or you’re afraid of love and rejection."
No matter the reason you're confused, it can be useful to look closely at your thoughts and actions to help you determine what you really feel. Here are 11 less-obvious, subtle signs you're in love.
1When Something Interesting Happens, You Want To Tell Them First
Whether it's the news you just got a promotion or some bad information you heard from a friend, who you want to tell first can reveal a lot. "When something really significant happens in your life (good or bad), you think first about them, and you want to share that news with them," says Wanis.
2You Feel Comfortable Being Vulnerable
Many experts agree that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness and feelings of love. "When you are in love, you have decided that this person is the one that you are willing to become vulnerable with," says relationship expert and therapist Kia James over email. "You actually allow them to enter your world and open your heart to them. Love goes beyond good sex and fun times, and your relationship will become more intimate."
3You Share Intimate Details Of Your Life
If you're telling this person things you've never told someone before, chances are, you feel a pretty deep connection to them. "When you are in love with someone, you are willing to share more details about your life and your history without hesitation or fear of rejection," says James. "You share things that you would not even share with your closest friend. You become emotionally intimate with them, and you are more willing to trust them with your feelings."
4You Take Their Opinions Into Consideration
When you are in love, you begin to care about them so much, that you take their opinions into consideration. "If you are thinking about taking a new job or moving, you will actually be interested in their opinion, and even more, you will take their opinion into consideration during your decision process," says James.
5You Feel Committed
Commitment doesn't feel difficult when you're in love. "When you are willing to commit to this person and no one else, you have entered into love," says James. "Commitment is saying, 'I want you, and I am not leaving.' When you are willing to stick around, help, and support your chosen partner, you are in love."
6You Feel Really Happy
General feelings of happiness might reflect contentment in your relationship. "People in love are generally happier," says therapist and relationship expert Sarah E. Clark, LMFT, LMHC, CVRT over email."They smile more, laugh more, are kinder to others, and their happiness permeates their life."
7You Envision Them In Your Future Plans
It's one thing to picture what you're doing together for next week's weekend plans, but it's another to envision someone fitting into your life 10 years down the line. "If you start imagining a future with the person in detail and can really see yourself being happy with what your lives would be like together, then you may be in love," says Clark.
8You Enjoy Their Quirks
People's quirks can be very annoying, but when someones unique traits begin to amuse and delight you, you might have started to fall in love. "When it is easy for you to forgive their oversights and oddities, this is a sign of an open heart and true love," says relationship counselor Kac Young PhD, ND, DCH over email.
9You Wonder What They Would Think
Even if they have nothing to do with the situation, you find that their judgment crosses your mind. "If you wonder what they would think or say about certain situations, and you crave their opinion on issues, then you are demonstrating a big sign of trust, admiration and value for the person’s point of view," says Young.
10You Talk About Them A Lot
Being in love with someone means you're thinking about them a lot, which in turn causes you to talk about them a lot. "When you’re having a coffee with your friends or chatting by text and you mention them in your conversations a lot, then you’re most likely smitten," says Young.
11You Want The Best For Them
Wanting the best for someone is an indication of selfless love. "You have moved out of attraction and lust into a deeper heart connection," says Young. "When you desire good results for them, then you are exhibiting maturity and depth."