Dating can be frustrating, and it's hard not to wonder if any of your relationships will get better or if you'll really feel that spark with someone special. Luckily, once you've found someone who's right for you, there are a number of ways to tell if someone is your soulmate. Your life still may not be some fantastic fairy tale, but you'll notice some distinct differences in how you feel when you're with your soulmate and how the relationship operates.
"A relationship with your soulmate feels dramatically different from other relationships because there is a natural, almost instinctual, alignment with one another," psychotherapist Avery Neal, M.A., LPC. tells Bustle. "You may not even believe a person so consistent with you even exists! Whereas other relationships may feel like a struggle, almost as if you are swimming upstream, with your soulmate things tend to flow effortlessly between the two of you. It is not that there is never conflict or disconnection, but even during these times there is never a doubt of love between the two of you and both of you work to restore closeness again."
It's a good feeling once you've found someone who's right for you, and it will show in you how you interact with the other person. Here are 11 ways your relationship is different when it's with your soulmate.
1. You Feel Elevated Around The Other Person
Your soulmate is your soulmate because they make you feel good. "When you come together, you are elevated," relationship coach Keren Eldad tells Bustle. "You uplift each other and do not tear each other down. You sing each other’s praises. You make each one’s day better."
2. Sex Is Amazing — In Multiple Ways
A relationship with your soulmate creates an intimacy that spices things up in bed. "There will be mind blowing sex, but not just the kinky, let’s-tie-each-other-up kind," says Eldad. "This is the kind of sex you have when you really trust each other, when you can be seen." Not to say sex will be incredible every time but when you have that kind of connection with someone, it automatically makes the experience better.
3. You Can Sit In Silence
Even though you might be able to talk for hours with your partner, you also feel comfortable sitting in silence. "You can sit in what would otherwise be perceived as an awkward silence and still feel totally comfortable knowing that you don’t need to speak," relationship expert Margaux Cassuto tells Bustle.
4. You Feel Understood
A soulmate listens to you and makes you feel understood. "Someone who deeply listens to you without only thinking about how they need to respond is a rarity in relationships," psychologist Dr. Beverly Palmer tells Bustle. "Yet the other person acknowledging an understanding of the message you are sending makes you feel intimately connected to that person."
5. You Feel Supported
It goes without saying that soulmate has your back. "It is the two of you against the world —well, maybe just against a common foe or issue," says Palmer. "You feel supported in your struggles." You know that whenever you need a boost, or someone to listen, your partner will be there, and that's an incredible feeling.
6. You Share The Same Core Values
When you've found your soulmate, you'll likely find that your goals, beliefs, and values align. "The things that matter to you are also important to your partner," says Neal. "Although your opinions may differ, there is a constant sense of togetherness in the world. Although you are separate beings, your partner appropriately represents who you are and vice versa."
7. You Trust Them
A solid relationship with your soulmate won't contain trust issues. "When told something in confidence, you both do not share the information with anyone," therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW tells Bustle. You're not worried where they are, who they're talking to, or what they're doing at all times. Instead, you are assured of their feelings even when they're not with you.
8. You Feel Accountable For Your Actions
"If you say or do something wrong, you both apologize," says Hershenson. "If you are upset with the other person, you talk it out without getting defensive." You'll find that you're more willing to acknowledge what your part was — even if it was simply upsetting them — and discussing what you could do differently in the future.
9. You Can Be Yourself
With your soulmate, you are truly you. "You don’t worry about always looking good or saying the right thing," says Hershenson. "You’re able to be vulnerable without fear of not being liked."
10. You Are Able To Open Up
Opening up to someone is scary, but with the right person, it feels doable. "It is safe to be transparent," says Neal. "You feel safe revealing yourself because you know that you can trust your partner with your vulnerability."
11. You Are Sincerely Proud Of Your Partner
A good relationship won't be riddled with competition or jealousy, and you won't feel the need to hide your partner. Instead, you have a lot of respect and admiration for who they truly are as a person. "You trust your partner’s ability to make sound decisions that are consistent with your code of ethics," says Neal. You also celebrate in their accomplishments, and they celebrate yours.
Finding a soulmate is no easy task, but when that person comes into your life, you'll experience an incredible level of love and connection.