13 "By The Time You're 35" Tweets That Are So Relatable It Hurts
Ah yes, once again millennials are being subject to some ... less-than-realistic financial advice. Last year, for instance, Australian millionaire and property mogul Tim Gurner said young people can't afford to buy homes because they spend too much money on avocado toast. Twitter had some sassy remarks then and they certainly have them now, after the release of a Marketwatch article in which an expert advised that by 35, you should have twice your salary saved. While this is objectively impossible for a lot of people, what is more than possible are the hilarious "by the time you're 35" tweets that it inspired, providing us all with some fresh new memes to keep that good ole mounting uneasiness about our actual finances at bay.
If you ask me, the best aspect of social media (Twitter, namely) is how it serves as a platform for so many previously unknown comedic geniuses. While you may have first joined as a way to follow celebrities, bands, or politicians, chances are you have stayed at least in part due to the memes and characteristic absurdist humor (dril, anyone?). I know I have. So, when a the community catches wind of a good meme opportunity, it flies the good meme kite up into the sky and lets it ride. Here are the best tweets "by the time you're 35" tweets.
1. Box Of Cables
You know those cables you have for old phones and gaming systems you know you will need again the second you throw them away? Yeah, those.
2. Nothing Matters
Because when you were in high school you probably weren't acquainted with the works of Kierkegaard, Camus, or de Beauvoir. Or the Nihilist Arby's Twitter account.
3. Fork Me Up
You know, the one that accidentally went down the garbage disposal a few times so now its edges are sharp and cut your mouth when you use it. Yeah, that one.
4. ~No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way~
It will be just like what happens when you live in the same city in which you attended college. But, there will be a decade's worth of more people you have met and could run into. I'm nervous just thinking about it.
5. But, It's Not Just Gonna Happen Like That
This EXPECTATION is b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
6. Storage Full Cannot Take Photo
After you have written an extensive research paper with accompanying bibliography, what are you going to do, just trash all the sources you'll never read again? Of course not! I am looking at you, other psychology grads.
7. But I Wanna Watch 'Moana'
You can't watch them after work because your brain is already too burnt out from work. You can't watch them over the weekend because you are in the mood for something fun. But you still want to see them. You just don't want to watch them.
8. 420 Age It
This one is, in fact, mathematically accurate.
9. Out of the Bag
Because where else are you going to store your bag? Or your bag within a bag? Or your bag within a bag within a bag within a bag with
10. See Also: 'Friends'
Forget stressing over being single, it's 2018. Now we stress about affording a room with one window. The areas with the most active job markets are also the most expensive. So if you haven't found ~the one~ yet, you might have to settle for anyONE who can help you make rent.
You know, to go along with your abundance of scientific pdfs. Bonus points if you also keep magazines.
12. A Clean Home Is A Happy Home
Everyone knows wearing something once does not necessarily means it needs washing. Imagine how quickly you would go through detergent if you washed your jeans every day. But, you can't let the tee you wore out today come in contact with your pristine items, so on the chair it will remain.
13. Which Disney Movie Is That From?
Look, not every child dreams of wearing gowns and tiaras when they grow up. Some dream of living among the creepy crawlies in a dilapidated shack with their amphibious friends in a swamp. I can see the appeal.