13 Couples On How They Deal With Mismatched Sex Drives
Couples dealing with mismatched sex drives
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There's no such thing as a normal sex drive — it can vary so much from person to person. But sex drives can still be a tricky area, especially if yours and your partner's don't match up. "A healthy sex drive is different for each person," Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle. "Overall, it's when we feel balanced in our desire (it feels good to us, as opposed to something being off whether too high or low) and sexually fulfilled whether it's alone or with a partner."

It's easy to do if you both tend to want sex as frequently as each other, but if one of you has a higher sex drive than the other then how can you make it work? Well, luckily a bunch of Reddit users with the same problem decided to share their ways of keeping both parties happy and satisfied. And it's encouraging, because it shows that there are so many different ways of finding a happy medium between two parties. There are plenty of different ways to compromise out there, so if it feels like you and your partner are struggling, don't be afraid to try something totally different. Here's what people found worked for them:


Focus On The Weekend

It's all about compromise — a lot of people find it difficult to have sex during the working week when they may be tired, so capitalizing on it when you're less tired is really important.


Morning Sex

It's a damn good reason to be late for work, in my opinion.


Schedule It Out

Some people just do better with everything planned out in advance.


Or Schedule EVERYTHING Out

It doesn't have to stop with sex — scheduling can help with mismatched everything.


Use Toys

If the fatigue is physical, brining toys into the bedroom can make it seem like less of a physical strain while still giving you the intimacy.



As long as you're both getting what you need, what's the harm?


Make An Appointment

I... I'm not sure this is legal. But whatever works for them.


Respecting Each Other's Bodies

This person seems to have it figured out. It's about both of you and what you both need.


Mutual Masutrabtion

It's sexy and a compromise.


Take Control

Sometimes, you just need a little encouragement to get into the mood— it's a good way to fight against complacency.


Find What You Love About Each Other

That can get you through anything.


Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

It's pretty much the answer for anything and everything.


Treat Each Other

Encouraging your partner to masturbate means they won't feel like they're doing anything wrong (because they're not!)— and you can both enjoy sex when you're actually feeling it.

Having different sex drives can be tough — but it doesn't have to make or break a relationship. Just like these examples show, there are so many different ways to make it work. Just listen to and respect each other and it will happen.