17 Goals We All Aggressively Aspired To In The '90s
As an adult, all I dream of is paying off my student loan debt and buying cheese from the expensive part of the grocery store. The goals we had in the '90s, though, looked but slightly different. Every night, visions of light-up shoes and slap bracelets and endless cartoon marathons danced in our heads, and we'd dream of being popular and being allowed to wear crop tops to school and getting to blow bubbles in our chocolate milk with those fun curly straws anytime we wanted, without our parents telling us to stop playing with our food.
Being a kid isn't about being practical or logical. It's about having fun, enjoying life, and satisfying every want of our active imaginations. That's the only thing that could explain why we cared so much about keeping our Tamagotchis alive over summer vacation and owning a pair of Moon Shoes even though we knew they'd result in a sprained ankle.
Although we eventually grow up and grow out of most of our childhood dreams and goals, they're never really that far from our minds. If you grew up in the '90s, you probably remember fantasizing about one of these at least once in your youth.
1. Asking Your Crush To The Sadie Hawkins Dance Before Anybody Else Did
And doing so without looking totally Debbie Desperate.
2. Winning The School Spelling Bee On A *Really* Tough Word
Everybody would be so impressed and you'd be the talk of the teachers' lounge.
3. Eating The Cafeteria Tuna Without Getting Food Poisoning
The "fish" and "mayonnaise" concoction was delicious but mysterious; and you never felt quite right after eating it.
4. Winning A Round Of Chubby Bunny At Lunch
Because priorities. In the '90s, you knew what really mattered in life.
5. Doing Your Homework In Milky Pen And Not Making A Single Typo
Even better if your teacher didn't totally flip out about it, since you were technically supposed to use a No. 2 pencil. Oh well. #YOLO
6. Picking Your Celebrity Crush On A Homemade Cootie Catcher
OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE.
7. Pretending To Be The Spice Girls With Your Best Friends And Getting To Be Baby Spice
Everyone knew she was tha bomb with her tiny pigtails and cute dresses.
8. Mastering The Art Of Making Tie-Dye Shirts
Yours always came out all lopsided and blobby. You wanted nothing more than a tie-dye shirt that looked simply effortless.
9. Getting The 'Rents To Check Out An R-Rated Movie For You At Blockbuster
But you had to double pinky promise you would never, ever repeat the bad words.
10. Glitter Eyeshadow That Stayed Put All Day
Most of it fell onto your cheeks by the end of the school day. Was it called cheekshadow? I. Think. Not.
11. Completing Your Beanie Babies Collection
But Mom and Dad weren't thrilled with the idea because money doesn't grow on trees and stuff.
12. Being One Of The Last Players Standing For Dodgeball In Gym Class
Nobody could touch you. You had the reflexes of a panther.
13. Bangs That Never Fell Flat
If Kelly's could survive an entire workout video, yours could too.
14. Being The Pink Ranger
I honestly don't know why they even bothered with the other rangers. The pink one was life.
15. Living In A Huge Apartment With All Your Friends Even If You Were Broke
That apartment in that city on those salaries never would've happened. Let's be honest with ourselves here.
16. Cher's Closet
Along with her entire wardrobe, please and thank you.
17. A Topanga And Cory Relationship
#Shipgoals. They were the ultimate.