Weddings are usually so hyper-focused on the bride-to-be that we forget there's another half to the equation; and a recent Reddit conversation is exploring something most of us probably don't even consider: what a man's dream wedding might be. I expected to see a lot of beer and baseball; but the joke's on little ol' narrow-minded me, because that's not at all what these fellas are talking about.
Statistics might be deceiving, though: The Knot polled almost 13,000 newlywed couples who got married in 2016 and learned that the average cost of a wedding was around $35,329 — a number that also answers to the name of "some people's yearly income." Where is all this money going, you ask? Well, it's not due to a greater number of guests. In fact, the average number of wedding guests is down to 141. In related news, I don't even know 141 people in total.
Rather, the cost per person has shot up, now averaging out to around $245 a head. Couples are dishing out more money to create the ultimate wedding experience for their guests, with insane entertainment, over-the-top food, and even more expensive flowers, cakes, and venues.
What these men have to say about their dream wedding might leave you wondering why the average ceremony comes with such a big price tag, though, because one thing many of these responses have in common is the desire for low-maintenance nuptials. Here's how some of the fellas of Reddit picture saying, "I do."
1Not Inviting Every Ram, Karthik, and Hari
Ah, yes — the ever popular, "Thank you for coming to our wedding. Who the hell are you?" game so many newlyweds play.
2It's All About Having A Good Time
Let's be honest: the only reason we go to weddings in the first place is the food. Yeah yeah, it's the celebration of two people's love — but where's the cake?
3Getting Appropriately And Responsibly Drunk
I approve this approach. He's really got it down to the essentials. Two thumbs up!
4A Romantic And Intimate Affair
Small wedding on the beach? Mimosas? Is this man available? I have single friends!
5A Wedding Fit For A King
Alright, fine. This one doesn't fall into the "low maintenance wedding" category. It might seem a bit much, but I think we can all get on board with the whole "never ending cascade of flavor" part.
6Wife Makes The Rules
Oh, come one, Wife! Give the man the $50 courthouse wedding of his dreams!
7Let's Just Get It Over With
Right. So I see what you're going for, here; but you might want to leave the "be done with it" part out of the conversation with your bride-to-be.
8Let Them Eat Cake
SEE?! The food IS all that matters! All jokes aside, those shows are crazy addicting; but not everyone is game for that kind of stress.
9A Volcano Wedding
Um... not sure we can make this one happen, my friend. But kudos to you for thinking big!
10A Disney Celebration
11 out of 10 partners approve this message.
11A Splashing Good Time
I'll get my jelly shoes and SPF 50. Let's do this.
OK, this sounds more like what I was initially expecting.
13Avoiding Family At All Costs
High fives for everyone! Except relatives. Because they won't be there.
14Guys Don't Have Dream Weddings
You get +10 points for honesty, PoorMansTonyStark. We appreciate you.
As a Las Vegas local, I can advise you with certainty to head to downtown Vegas, where you can't scratch yourself without accidentally stumbling into a tiny wedding chapel.
16"I Do" In Outer Space
I don't really think this is an unreasonable request.
17The Man Of Everyone's Dreams
Oh my god. Yes. Marry me.