32 Genuinely Funny Jokes About Kellyanne Conway's "Bowling Green Massacre" Comment
In a Thursday night interview with MSNBC Hardball host Chris Matthews, Kellyanne Conway entered a new "alternative fact" into the Trump administration database. When asked about Trump's ban on travelers from seven Middle Eastern countries, Conway responded by referencing a temporary slowdown put in place by President Obama, targeting Iraqi citizens. She then claimed Obama's action came in response to the non-existent, never-happened "Bowling Green massacre."
The full quote is illuminating, if only for how it reveals a stunningly at ease commitment to fabricated nonsense. Conway told Matthews, “I bet it’s brand new information to people that President Obama had a six-month ban on the Iraqi refugee program after two Iraqis came here to this country, were radicalized and they were the masterminds behind the Bowling Green massacre.”
Again, there never was such a thing. Apparently, Conway meant to reference two Iraqi immigrants who lived in Bowling Green, Kentucky. After bragging about using Improvised Explosive Devices (IED) against American soldiers while they were back living in Iraq, the two young men were sentenced to federal prison.
Unfortunately, the idiocy demonstrated here distracted from an earlier part of the interview, wherein Conway essentially argued that any civil servant who cannot commit to agreeing with everything Trump does should either resign or be prepared to be fired. Perhaps that was on purpose. Either way, we all need some levity, and Twitter came through with a host of "Bowling Green" jokes to lighten the mood.
Of Bowling Greens And Grizzly Bears
Remember: Betsy DeVos thinks guns on schools is a good idea #becausegrizzlies. And in Trump land that means: Everything is awesome.
That Time POTUS Wasn't Really Sure Who Frederick Douglass Is
Trump seemed unsure of whether or not Douglass was still alive, or who he actually was, on Wednesday. Naturally, tweeters brought his apparently everlasting personage to the Bowling Green massacre commentary.
Conway's Credibility: Collateral Damage
It actually remains to be seen if Conway will pay a price for brazen alternative fact spewing.
But Is Our Jesting Too Soon??
OK, the Bowling Green Massacre did just come into (non-)existence yesterday...
First Time Kellyanne Conway Gets Labeled A "Hipster"
This has to be the only time "Kellyanne Conway" and "hipster" appear together that doesn't involve trash talking about millennial laziness...
Trump On The Massacre: In His Own Words
A good lesson on how you can talk a lot, without saying anything.
Man Shares "Where Were You" Memory
Daniel Pike was apparently a "city editor" when the Bowling Green massacre just refused to happen. What about you?
I don't know what all the football memes were about, because I don't know much about football. Kinda like Conway doesn't know much about that little thing called the "truth."
Greatest Stealth Ad Coup Of All Time?
Probably not, but if this old haunted house knew what traffic was coming its way, they might have held on longer!
The Problem With "Massacre"
Yes, it's a joke. But "massacre" has an especially violent connotation. #AlternativeMassacres feels a little too haunting...
Victim Fund #3 - And This Time, You Should Donate
To whoever put this together, you have my thanks. The "Bowling Green Massacre Fund" redirects their "Donate" page to the ACLU.
Hey! She Stole Our Band Name!
Many tweeters picked up on how very much like a punk band name "Bowling Green massacre" sounds.
Chelsea Clinton Is Listening
And we appreciate her lending her voice to speak out against the "alternative fact" machine of Trump's administration.
Charles Is Not So In Charge Anymore
Scott Baio may be lamenting his full-Trump embrace right about now.
Conspiracy Theorizing, Part Two
Pizza shops in D.C. are always behind non-existent scandals, amirite?
Mark Wahlberg Wants In
Not sure why, but Wahlberg was a common theme in some of these tweets. Maybe I'm missing a pop culture reference, but either way, I say to the above: #alternativetrue
Kellyanne Conway is certainly feeling the pain of her word choice, but these hilarious tweets about the incident will lighten the mood.