If you realize that you don't feel connected to your partner anymore, it's time to take action. There are plenty of little ways to touch base with your partner, but it doesn't always give you what you need. "Couples try to get each other’s attention throughout the day, whether it’s for support, conversation, interest, play, affirmation, feeling connected or for affection,” relationship coach and therapist Anita Chlipala tells Bustle. “Each of these moments is an opportunity to connect with your partner. A person should look for someone who responds to them, or at least acknowledges them when they try to get their attention, because it shows that they are meeting your emotional needs — or at least trying to.”
Maybe one of you has been really busy. Maybe there's a fight that you just haven't gotten over. Maybe you don't feel like you know each other the same way you used to. If you've lost that connection, it's time to try to get it back. You don't need to panic — it happens — but it may be time to make it a priority. Because the way to save your relationship is by getting close to — and comfortable with — your partner again. And that will take work and time.
So start making some time to reconnect. Put your phone away (or at the very least on silent) and try these date nights:
1. Go For A Nature Walk
Getting out in nature is good for the soul — and can help jolt you and your partner out of a funk. If there's nowhere all that nature-y near you, don't fret.
“I’m a big fan of a casual stroll through a fun neighborhood or street fair,” Jeffrey Sumber, MA, MTS, LCPC, psychotherapist and bestselling author of Renew Your Wows!, tells Bustle. “I think it helps a person witness how the prospect interacts with others and with general input from the external world.” Look up a city walk for your area and see your home from a whole new angle.
2. Try A Beer Or Wine Tasting
Not only will you get out of your comfort zone and learn something, the alcohol can help loosen the tongues and get conversation flowing. Just don't get too merry — you want to bond and actually remember it, after all.
3. Go To An Art Or Museum Exhibition
Not only does it nurture the mind, going to an exhibition gives you something to new to discuss and debate, a great way to reconnect with each other. Even more than that, it gets you out and about. Too much time at home (together or apart) is a great way to get into a rut, so make sure you're mixing up your locations.
4. Host A Game Night With Friends
Spending some time with your shared friends is a good grounding technique — it reminds you of your shared life together. And a game night means that you'll be constantly engaging with each other and being silly together, so you can let off steam and reconnect.
5. Cook Dinner And Watch A Movie
Cooking together is ritualistic and gives you a shared task. The most important thing is really that you wait for a movie until after dinner. Put your phone away and use the meal to really chat.
6. Go To An Escape The Room Event
An adrenaline rush, team work, and a feeling of accomplishment? Try an Escape The Room night. “This is a group activity where you have to solve mind games in order to ‘escape,’ Kali Rogers, Founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, tells Bustle. “It’s a great way to work together as a team with others and get to know each other." Basically, it's a shortcut to reconnecting and getting to know each other even better.
7. Take A Day Trip
Just because you don't have the cash for a big vacation, doesn't mean you can't get away together. Find somewhere nearby, within easy driving (or bus) distance, and go explore. It will give you loads of time together, plus a chance to make some new memories — all without your daily routines distracting you and weighing you down.
If you feel disconnected from your partner, you need to nip it in the bud. Make some time to get reconnect and plan a different kind of date. You can get yourselves back on track.