If you've been together for a long time, it's pretty common to fall into a sexual rut, where you might go for Netflix and chill over time between the sheets far too often. However, there are some more promising couples, with habits of staying infatuated with each other for years into their partnership. Of course, this takes work. Life gets busy, people get tired; yet, if you strive to improve your relationship in initiating sexual activity on a regular basis, you'll be likely to keep things strong.
As a certified health coach, I work with clients on maintaining stable relationships, especially intimate ones with an S.O., so when there's a lack of chemistry in the bedroom, or there's simply no time to get physical, it can cause the relationship to suffer. As a human, you have needs, those that need to be satisfied. If you're in a good partnership, you should take advantage of that and allow yourself and your partner to connect on a deeper level, on a consistent basis, to keep the attraction and desire alive. If it starts to fade, you run the risk of losing that interest and love, and you might feel as though it's time to break up, when really it was just a need for more intimacy. Here are seven habits of couples who stay infatuated with each other long-term, showing that the spark can stay alive for years to come.
1. Having Mutual Admiration For Each Other
"A couple who endlessly look to each other for guidance and nurture a thirst to learn from each other will never fall out of love because of the deep respect on which their relationship is founded," says relationship expert Margaux Cassuto over email with Bustle. "They will be eternally engaged in a dynamic dialogue that will keep their relationship fresh."
2. Giving Compliments
According to Tarra Bates-Duford, Ph.D., MFT, CRS, CMFSW, BCPC, over email with Bustle, giving each other compliments on a regular basis can create a sense of intimacy and romance. Plus, it shows your partner how attracted you are to him or her, and this can keep things alive in the bedroom.
3. Spending Some Time Apart
This doesn't mean you should constantly go to dinner out or take extended trips to get away from your partner, but taking some healthy time apart, like doing some social outings during the week with friends, can keep infatuation strong, says Bates-Duford. Absence makes the heart grow fonder at any stage, in any amount.
4. Devoting A Day To Your Partner
Put your partner's needs first for a day, as this will show him or her your appreciation and help you recognize all the great qualities that made you fall in love to begin with. "Try this: for a whole day, focus on your partner instead of yourself. Your significant other may not even recognize why he or she suddenly craves your company more than ever, but it will be obvious to you," says Wendy L. Patrick, JD, Ph.D. over email with Bustle.
5. Focusing On "Growing" Together
Communicating openly about ways to grow together can keep infatuation strong and avoid any ruts. "Stagnation in a relationship is one of the biggest causes for rifts. Why? Because as people, we thrive when we are growing," say the Freemans, millennial authors of the book The New Power Couple and certified relationship mentors, over email with Bustle. "Couples can grow together by: reading a book together at night about money mindset, going to a seminar learning about growing their communication, or hiring a coach to help them grow a business together."
6. Having "Check Ins"
"When couples meet on weekly basis to connect, check-in emotionally, make sure that they are aligned in their goals and focus, they can really thrive,'" the Freemans say. "This weekly meeting consists of sitting down for 30-60 minutes to ask questions like, 'Are you completely fulfilled right now?', and this hour together will make the world of a difference."
7. Keeping Things Exciting And Fun
It's time for more adventure. "Staying infatuated is difficult, but the best way seems to be to make sure there is strong sexual attraction, newness, and risk in the relationship. These factors would contribute to keeping the brain in an infatuated state," says David Bennett, relationship counselor, in an email to Bustle. "So, try new things in the bedroom (and outside the bedroom — to add some risk and excitement to the mix), do new and exciting things together, and always push the relationship sexually and romantically. This will help keep that infatuated state alive and avoid settling into a relationship that amounts to friends with no-benefits."
If you're concerned about the level of intimacy in your relationship, consider trying these different practices and focusing on communicating issues to stay connected and in sync. Plus, many of these are enjoyable ways to spend more time together, as well.