7 Interesting Mistakes Couples Sometimes Make In The Bedroom That Can Damage Their Bond
There are many aspects of a relationship, including your emotional connection and the quality time you spend together, but intimacy plays a huge role in a partnership. You might really be vibing when going through your day, but you also want to ensure you avoid any mistakes in the bedroom that could ruin your bond. Nothing can sour a relationship more quickly than crossing boundaries in the bedroom or having a completely unsatisfying sex life, so it's important you pay attention to your bedroom habits just as you would your communication skills or relationship responsibilities.
"A couple needs to bond sexually to maintain that physical closeness," says dating and relationship expert Lisa Concepcion over email. "When we have sex we are breathing together, skin is against skin and the pleasures of sex releases brain chemicals such as oxytocin ('the love chemical') and endorphins that bond us. Great sex is simply a physical expression of emotional closeness and vice versa."
Maintaining a good sex life is a huge part of a relationship, but so is knowing your partners boundaries, needs, and desires. To make sure your staying as close to your partner as possible, you'll want to avoid these seven interesting mistakes couples make in the bedroom that can ruin their bond.
1. Allowing A Pet Full Access To The Bedroom
"It's okay to sleep with the family pet in the room, but when it jumps on the bed and refuses to move, that will put a kink in the sex life," says Concepcion. "Get the dog their own bed, and if possible teach it to be 'out' when sex is happening."
2. Having A TV In The Bedroom
Having a TV in the bedroom is can detract from your intimacy and sex life. "For those who insist on falling asleep to the TV, meet in the bed for some one-on-one time, then cuddle and watch TV after," says Concepcion. "Ideally, the bedroom should be only for sleep and sex."
3. Having A Creaking Bed
A noisy bed can be distracting, and it can also make you paranoid that someone else can hear what you're up to. "Take the time to hit the hardware store to tighten bolts, and if necessary, buy a soundproof bed," says Concepcion. "Make sure the bedroom is comfortable, tidy and a sensual atmosphere."
4. Looking At Social Media In Bed
"A lot of couples are in bed but are scrolling through social media, reading news, or getting a jump start on next day work emails," says Concepcion. "Make the bedroom a tech free zone. Laptops are off and phones go in the chargers when it is sexy time."
5. Having A Set Time For Sex
Don't limit yourself by thinking sex is only an activity that is done before bedtime. "Set the alarm an hour earlier and ease into your day with some playtime in the bed," says Concepcion. "Morning sex is a great way to begin the day."
6. Giving Too Much Direction
"In the bedroom, it's good to give instruction from time to time so you can both reach a pinnacle of satisfaction," says dating and relationship expert Megan Weks. "However, this can damage the bond if it becomes too frequent instruction in the bedroom." Weks suggests using minimal instruction or simple positive reinforcement methods in the bedroom to keep from hurting feelings or jumpstarting someone's feelings of inadequacy.
7. Allowing Fights To Get In The Way
After a fight, you might still feel resentment towards your significant other, but if everything has been resolved, it is best to move on and continue with your intimacy. "During sex, attachment chemicals flow and keep us close and excited about one another," says Weks. "If there are arguments and hard feelings lurking about between us, the act of making love has it's way of wiping the slate clean again. Even though it feels that life is so hectic and there's no time for sex, it's important to create the time."