You probably know someone who's guilty of sabotaging a relationship, but you may be less likely to admit if you've done something along the same lines. It's one of those behaviors that is so much easier to spot in other people, but the truth is way too many of us doom our own relationships to fail. It can stem from a lot different places: fear of commitment, feeling unworthy, general anxiety, etc. In fact, the reasons are just as multifold and unique as the people who do it. But when you're doing it, it can feel visceral and out of control, and even surreal. You may sense yourself doing things that aren't good for you, without really being able to stop yourself.
Firstly, don't panic — there are ways to fix it, like stopping to breathe and be grateful — and show that you're grateful— for this wonderful partner you have. “This wonderful virtue extends beyond social grace and protocol,” licensed marriage and family therapist, Cara Itule, tells Bustle. “Simple and sincere acknowledgments of gratitude goes a long way with your partner. Letting your partner know that you are grateful for what they do makes them feel wanted, needed, and appreciated.”
Reminding yourself of the good things about our relationship and why you want it to go well can be incredibly grounding, but the hardest part is realizing you're doing it in the first place. Here are some sings you're dooming your relationship to fail: