When looking for a partner, most of us look for that awesome spark — the inexplicable click that creates fireworks between you and another person. You might believe it comes from destiny — or maybe just a sexual attraction — but there are actually a number of surprising factors that cause chemistry between people. Knowing what these factors are might not change whether or not you have chemistry with someone, but they can definitely help you pinpoint why you get along so much with your partner or your crush.
"Romantic chemistry is an effortless attraction between two people that can feel magnetic and addictive," says relationship and dating expert Margaux Cassuto over email. "It's to blame for many second dates. It can come in the form of a physical, emotional, or even intellectual bond. Scientists believe that chemistry is a result of the chemicals in your brain determining compatibility."
Most of us have felt it, but usually we aren't aware of where this insane feeling is coming from. You might just blame it on that urge to kiss someone good-looking, but true chemistry is so much more. Here are seven surprising factors that can cause a feeling of chemistry between people.
If used correctly, touching can cause intense romantic chemistry. "With too much touching, you can risk turning things into a ‘buddy’ vibe," says Karyn. "With not enough touching, things will feel cold and formal. But with just the right amount: fireworks."
Although alcohol can’t create chemistry from scratch, it can definitely enable it. "Alcohol can be a very helpful tool for speeding along romantic chemistry," says Karyn. "When used carefully, this can allow you and your person of interest to open up to each other with minimal nervousness."
Shared Sense Of Humor
"Lots of side-splitting, silly laughter is great for creating chemistry," says matchmaker Susan Trombetti over email. "It causes people to relax and let go, and you really let your guard down. Laughter can bond anyone together." One study from the University of Kansas found that when two strangers meet, the more times a man tries to be funny and the more a woman laughs at those attempts, the more likely the woman is interested in the man. The chemistry is amplified even more when both laugh together, according to the study
Sense Of Familiarity
When something is familiar, it becomes comfortable, and we are drawn to it. "We have a habit to gravitate towards things we recognize that 'feel like home,'" says Cassuto. "For example, falling in love with a man with a similar sense of humor as my father."
It sounds kind of creepy, but we tend to be attracted to people who look similar to us. According to research published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, we are attracted to people who resemble our parents or ourselves. "It's not uncommon to see blondes marry blondes and dimpled people marry other dimpled people, and consequently, it's not uncommon for couples to be mistaken for siblings due to a striking resemblance," says Cassuto.
Disclosing Personal Information
How much you reveal to a potential partner can set the tone for some crazy chemistry. Disclosing personal information can create a sense of intimacy, but revealing too much too soon can take away that feeling of excitement, according to Psychology Today. At the beginning of a relationship, individuals tend to discuss a wide array of topics, and if theses conversations are rewarding, people begin to disclose more personal information, which can lead to chemistry.