Summer is upon us, and you know what that means: Commuting to work on public transportation, your head wedged into a stranger's sweaty armpit for the duration of your ride; the omnipresent scent of hot trash; an office air conditioner cranked all the way up, turning your desk into an icy tundra that demands you throw a winter coat over your lightweight threads; and maybe the possibility of travel. Perhaps you stand among the lucky few whose employers allot summer Fridays or perhaps you, like me, are staring down the barrel of a three-month wedding parade. So, for all of you with summer trips ahead, what are the best sex toys to sneak into your travel bag?
This is a good question to ask: According to a 2016 study by Expedia, secret romance capital of the internet, I guess, vacation makes us feel extra sexy and ups our libidos. So why not jump into your summer trip with a full set of tools to make the most of your downtime?
If you plan to travel by train, automobile, or boat, you should be fine to just slip a sex toy into your bag and be done with it. If you plan to fly, however, it pays to do some research before you go: Whether gearing up for domestic or international travel, do the requisite research to determine whether or not you can legally bring your vibrator with you. And archaic laws aside, bear in mind that the TSA does not have a sterling track record when it comes to handling sex toys. Recall, for example, that time an agent searched writer Jill Filipovic's checked bag and left her a note reading "get your freak on girl" after stumbling upon a "personal item," as Filipovic put it. Professionalism sometimes goes out the window where sex toys are involved.
And then, you'll just need to do the basics, like removing the batteries from battery-powered toys for a flight. You'll probably want to disarm your toys before takeoff, so you don't end up spilling a bag full of buzzy dicks all over the airport floor as you harriedly pull your luggage from the carousel.
So what are the best travel sex toys? With all these provisos in mind, here are my top seven picks to pack in your carryall this summer.
1The Satisfyer Pro Traveler
Until very recently, I'd been reticent to try the Satisfyer, a nifty little gadget that uses air pressure and sorcery to replicate the feel of a tongue with alarming accuracy. The reviews made this product seem a little *too* good at its job, an orgasm efficiently accomplished in 30 seconds flat. After testing out the travel size Satisfyer sent me, however, I can now admit that I was quick (and wrong) to judge. Based on its reasonable price point; its discreet, built-in case that both keeps the product clean and shields it from prying eyes; and the very good feelings it imparts, the Satisfyer Pro Travel is my number one rec.
2Iroha Stick Vibrator
The by-women-for-women offshoot of Japanese sex toy company, Tenga, Iroha makes aesthetically pleasing and unusually shaped toys that excel at hiding in plain sight. Take this little lipstick number, for example: Equipped with a range of vibration levels, its seamless lipstick disguise means you can toss it in your toiletry bag and, fingers crossed, make it through security without someone making a stink about your vibrator. Take note, though: The Iroha Stick is battery operated, so make sure to remove that little guy before you fly.
3The Crave Vesper
With a vibrator so innocuous as this necklace-disguised wearable, you might just be able to wear it on the plane without raising too many eyebrows. Even if you just toss it in your bag, though, there's next to no reason why anyone might immediately suspect the Crave Vesper is, in fact, a vibrator. A sleek and discreet little bullet, this fairly fancy vibe makes an easy (and fun) travel companion.
4Dame Products Eva II
Smaller and quieter than the Eva original, this compact, hands-free couples' vibe by Dame Products comes with its own convenient (and compact) charging case — ideal cover for when TSA goes snooping through your luggage. A great addition to a couples' getaway or an anonymous vacation fling, whichever you'd prefer.
A collaboration with Minna, the Unbound Squish is a slightly more affordable version of the classic Limon vibrator, which — I've said it before and I'll say it again — is the most intuitive vibrator around. Squish vibrates as hard as you squeeze it while remaining reasonably quiet all the while, and works for any body type. Better still? It's waterproof, so you can take it for a spin in your luxuriant hotel tub. Best of all? Its lemon-shaped body doesn't immediately scream sex toy, so a tiny cousin rifling through your weekend bag won't immediately out your bedroom agenda to the rest of your family.
6Je Joue Ooh Cock Ring
This vibrating cock ring houses a removable motor, an extremely practical feature for anyone who's on the go and worried their sex toy might start buzzing away in their carry on. Added bonus? The little device looks like some kind of clicker, and seems unlikely to raise any suspicions when spotted in your luggage.
7Lelo Siri 2
Hello, Siri? While she looks like an Apple product, the Siri 2 is actually a sleek, remote control-looking vibrator that's small enough to slip into a suitcase. With eight settings and the option to sync its pulse patterns up with music, if that sounds nice to you, the Siri is intended for clitoral use but really, could be used on any body part you want to massage. A multi-purpose tool for multiple orgasms.
There you have it: seven sex toys that are perfect for taking off — and getting off.