Kind. Witty. Must love dogs.
Popular dating apps typically ask for what you are looking for in a partner, so it’s only natural to think about what you like or appreciate about a potential significant other as you swipe or scroll through dating profiles. But dating profiles don’t always prompt you to think about the most important question you should ask during that first meeting: What are your deal breakers?
Dating exposes us to so many new people, and in turn, new personality traits, interests, and characteristics that we never even knew we had opinions about. Past boyfriends have introduced me to some of my favorite things, like sushi, skiing on the West Coast, and adventures to dog parks; however, I’ve also realized my intolerance for sleeping until noon on the weekends, rap music, and a diet that regularly incorporates fast food.
Now that I’m more aware of what I can and can’t tolerate in a partner, I’ve started to create a list of "deal breakers" so I can avoid getting excited about someone only to learn that their habits would repulse me over the long haul. It’s not being picky — it’s more about being confident about what you do and don’t want! To help everyone gain more confidence in their dating adventures, we partnered with THE FACTS NOW to come up with eight dating deal breakers everyone can understand.
1. They’re Always Distracted
Whether it’s checking their notifications, scrolling through Instagram, or answering a phone call at the table, a no-brainer deal breaker is somebody who can’t keep his or her eyes on the prize: you. Kick distractions to the curb, and go after someone who knows enough not to waste your time.
2. They Ignore Their Health
I don't know about you, but I'm not just here for a good time — I'm here for a long time. As an active and health-conscious person myself, having a partner who's invested in their wellbeing is important to me. That said, smoking is definitely a deal breaker for me. After all, smoking harms nearly every organ of the human body and reduces a person's overall health, compromising everything from teeth and gum health, to bone strength, to immune function. The addiction doesn't just make you more likely to develop heart disease, stroke and lung cancer, but it's also the leading cause of preventable disease and death in the United States. The good news is, your cardiovascular risks decrease just one year after quitting, and other health risks decline in time, too. That said, I'd rather my dating prospects stay smoke-free — after all, secondhand smoke is dangerous, too!
3. They Live Far Away
You’re not looking for a penpal, you’re looking for a relationship. Unfortunately, sometimes geographic distance can be a huge roadblock to romance. While it’s important to keep an open mind, more often than not a long-distance courtship will only prove to take weeks or months longer than an IRL relationship to reveal the fact that, yep, it’s just not working.
4. They Have Bad Personal Hygiene
If this person can’t even take care of themselves, what makes you think they’ll take good care of you? Choose a partner who is health-conscious and takes the appropriate steps when it comes to caring for their body. Anyone who smells foul — whether it’s because they smoke constantly or don’t believe in personal hygiene — should stop focusing on dating, and start focusing on themselves. A healthy mindset Deal, broken.
5. They’re Allergic To Your Pet
You know your pet. You love your pet. You’ve already figured out how to make your life work with your pet. Do you really need a potential suitor coming in and messing with your pet-to-parent relationship? Or, always having to go to their place and leave your furry BFF at home? Nah, I don’t think so. An animal’s love is unconditional, while your date’s feelings may be fleeting — don’t mess that up.
6. Their Kissing Skills Are Subpar
The whole reason you’re even dating this person is because you want to feel loved. But feeling affection from someone else can be difficult if the chemistry just isn't clicking...or even worse, they have terrible breath! Don’t settle for sloppy or subpar smooching skills. And if you have the misfortune of tasting cigarette breath, run far away from the more than 7,000 chemicals contained in secondhand smoke.
7. They’re Kind Of … Mean
If your date is mean, rude, or just keeps cutting you off mid-sentence, don’t continue the conversation. Maybe you forgot something in your car, or just realized you had an important meeting the next day and have to go home ASAP. Figure out an escape plan, walk out the door, and don’t look back! You deserve to be treated with the utmost regard, and that means feeling equal, respected, and heard.
8. They Talk About Their Exes 24/7
The whole reason you’re meeting with this person is to figure out if your relationship will work … not why their past relationship didn’t. While you’ll probably need to discuss exes down the line if things get serious, a date who constantly talks about or takes jabs at their ex could be a serious red flag that they aren’t really over their former flame. Find someone who is ready to focus on the future: you!