Most anyone who’s ever been to therapy has heard the term “positive self-talk.” In a nutshell, it’s the idea that you should be nicer to yourself in your own internal dialogue. So say, for example, you didn’t get a job that you wanted. Instead of diving into a shame spiral where you call yourself a worthless loser, you could say something like, “You did a great job and this one just wasn’t a great fit.” That’s a minor example — but you get the idea.
If you want to step up your positive self-talk game even further, you should not only talk to yourself the way you talk to your best friend, you should talk to yourself the way women and other feminine-identifying people talk to each other on Instagram. I’m not talking about the toxic conversations, of course. I’m talking about the outpouring of compliments, love, affirmations, and emojis that fill the comments section of your friend’s selfies. While you might look at your own selfies and notice an area of your body or face or hair that you don’t love, what do you see when you look at those of a your friends? Beautiful, fierce, amazing women. You don’t pick her apart for tiny flaws, because not only would that make you a terrible friend, but what good would that do?
So it’s time to do the same for yourself. Here are nine things you’d say to your BFF that you should being saying to yourself.