What people find most lovable about you are the characteristics that make you distinctly you. When it comes to your relationship this is no exception — your partner is most drawn to the lovable personality traits that set you apart. So if you're wondering what those things are that are making your partner swoon, there are a few ways to tell. Whether it be your subtle quirks, or how consistently you show your partner kindness, there's a lot to admire about you. And even if they don't say it, your partner definitely notices.
As a certified health coach, I work with clients on improving their relationships and finding meaning, through deeper connections, trust, and eventually love. To grow that love, there are certain characteristics that will not only make people more compatible in relationships, but also draw them to each other to create a bond that will last. Among these traits are the small things about you that your partner will grow to love. Of course, these personality traits, or habits are not the same for everyone, and this list only showcases some of the few possibilities of what your partner finds special about you. But by knowing what your partner finds lovable about you, you can foster your connection and grow stronger as a couple. Here are nine unexpected characteristics experts say your partner loves about you.
1. Your Quirks
Maybe it's the funky dance moves that only you've mastered, or the way you pronounce certain words, but there are a number of idiosyncrasies so particular to you, your partner can't help but notice and admire them. "The things you do or say that others may find different ... are usually what makes you YOU," Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW tells Bustle.
2. When You Have An Opinion
It's your convictions and the passion you have behind them that makes your partner take notice. "Your relationship gets boring when you don't have opinions of your own," says Hershenson. And, your partner may find they can learn something from you.
3. Your Independence
Your partner will find your ability to take care of yourself admirable. "People often fear their partner will lose interest if they aren't available 24/7 but the truth is having your own life makes you MORE appealing," says Hershenson. "It's important for everyone to have some space."
4. Your Vulnerability
Being open and truthful, as your genuine self, is definitely lovable. "Love involves connections, and one way to deepen an emotional connection is to have vulnerability," certified counselors David and Jonathan Bennett, tell Bustle. "Nobody wants to date a partner who is perceived as perfect and without flaws. Having some weakness, and showing that through vulnerability, is a very lovable trait."
5. Your Kindness
"Many people are used to relationships that are filled with fighting and drama," David and Jonathan Bennett say. "Kindness in a partner is a very lovable trait and, according to research, one of the key traits that partners possess in successful long-term relationships." Taking the time to show your partner appreciation and gratitude is something that will always make them feel loved, and in turn, will grow their affections for you as well.
6. Your Politeness
Your partner appreciates your caring and kind attitude, even when you haven't had the best day. "Once people get in a relationship, a lot of the niceness wears off, and 'please,' 'thank you,' and other general ways of being polite get discarded...," say the Bennetts "Being polite, even when you don't have to be because you're familiar with your partner, is very lovable."
7. Your Empathy
Showing the ability to relate to, understand, and identify with another person's experience is SOMETHING PEOPLE FIND ADMIRABLE. "While it's a nice feeling to know someone is giving you attention and listening to you, it takes it to a whole new level when you know the person is internalizing what you're saying, and can emotionally relate to and support you through your own experience," Shlomo Zalman Bregman, a matchmaker and rabbi tells Bustle. Your empathetic nature is always appreciated by your partner.
8. Your Ability To Enjoy Simple Pleasures
If you're the type of person who enjoys the little moments, your partner may take notice. "It's undoubtedly lovable ... when [you have] an ability to enjoy the simple things in life," says Bregman. Because relationships are not always filled with travel and fancy dinners, your partner appreciates you being content with a movie night in, says Rabbi Bregman.
9. Your Motivation
Taking a second to motivate your partner and show them you're proud is something your partner loves about you. "Many of us find that our motivation is a bit tepid, and that although we'd love feel perpetually inspired, we aren't," says Bregman. If you are goal-oriented, and share that driven spirit with your partner, the excitement may rub off on them, and they'll appreciate you all the more for it.
Although there are plenty of qualities that your partner may love about you, it's your quirks and individuality that experts say will always make them feel the warm and fuzzies.