Relationships are supposed to enhance your life, so sometimes it can be hard to acknowledge that you're actually in one that does quite the opposite. It's not easy to objectively analyze your own situation, but it's important to watch out for some telltale signs that you're ignoring some red flags in a relationship. No relationship is perfect, but if there are a number of alarming flaws in your partnership, you're better off addressing them head on then ignoring them. It's one thing if your partner bugs you once in awhile, but it's another if you constantly find yourself in morally ambiguous situations.
"You should never brush away red flags in a relationship because red flags do not go away," says celebrity renowned relationship expert Audrey Hope over email. "They don’t fade with time and instead only grow brighter, getting so big that it could be too late to handle by then."
It might seem like an unhealthy relationship would be obvious, but when you're smack dab in the middle of one, you can sometimes to be blind to the negatives, especially if you have strong feelings for your partner. If you're concerned your relationship might be as good as it should be, pay attention to these 9 signs you're ignoring the red flags in your relationship.
1. You Have A Gut Feeling That Won't Go Away
If you have a sickening feeling that does not go away, it's an indicator that something is amiss — so trust your instincts. "It can be in your stomach, your chest, your head," says Hope. "The doctor can try and diagnose it and maybe give you pills, but it is just a bandaid to hide the truth of what is really going on. Your heart knows something is not right."
2. You Doubt Everything Your Partner Says
Trust is key in relationships, and if you're lacking it, something is definitely wrong. "You doubt and mistrust everything your partner says," says Hope. "You are now like a private investigator or a journalist, looking for clues everywhere. This is madness because you are living out of alignment with your true self and become very suspicious."
3. Your Sleep Is Disturbed
Poor sleep can indicate you're stressed about something, and it's very likely it's your taxing relationship. "You can’t sleep," says Hope. "You toss and turn, and wonder what is wrong with you?" This could even manifest itself in bad dreams and nightmares.
4. You Ignore Your Friends & Loved Ones
If all your friends are saying the same thing about your partner, it's not a coincidence. "You are ignoring friends and loved ones because you don’t want to hear the truth," says Hope. "You’d rather hide, stay to yourself and live in a fantasy world in order to avoid reality."
5. You're Always Putting Your Needs Second
Relationships are supposed to be mutually beneficial, so you shouldn't be the only one sacrificing everything. "You might find you continually subvert your needs and interests to focus on their needs and interests," says relationship expert Robert Weiss over email.
6. You Keep Score
"If you or your partner are continually keeping score, there's an imbalance in the relationship that will lead to anger, resentment, and a divide between you," says relationship expert Antonia Hall over email. "Healthy relationships require a sense of being on the same team and no one should be trying to one-up the other."
7. You Often Withdraw From Eachother
Some alone time is totally normal, but going out of your way to avoid your significant other is not. "A happy, healthy relationship is fostered by connectivity," says Hall. "If one or both of you is withdrawing into online and real life activities that do not include your partner more often than not, the relationship needs work or it's unlikely to survive."
8. You Give Into Manipulative Behavior
"If someone is continually trying to control you, what you do, and with whom you spend time, the relationship is unhealthy and potentially dangerous," says Hall. For example, your partner may frame things with something like "If you really loved me, you'd..."
9. You're Afraid To Introduce Them To Others
"[It's a red flag if] you don’t feel comfortable introducing them to your friends and family," says Weiss. If you don't want your significant other around, it's time to dig deep and figure out why.