As wonderful as it would be, the reality is that no relationship is completely drama-free. But if you’re an adult looking to be in a healthy grown-up relationship, there’s just some types of relationship drama that you're way too old to be dealing with.
“You can never be too old for a great toe tingling kiss or mind-blowing sex with your [partner]. But one thing you can be too old for is jacked-up relationship drama,” Tawana Lowery aka "The Serial Overcomer" and author of 5 Easy Steps to Life Changing Prayer tells Bustle. “Time is precious. So don’t waste it on people who are brain-dead about the simple basics of a healthy relationship. If I learned anything from a failed 26-year marriage it’s that you must have a few basic things down in order to keep the relationship from blowing up.”
According to Lowery, healthy adult relationships are comprised of the three C’s:
- Commitment: This can manifest in simple things like being on time, keeping your promises, holding down a steady job, and being dependable. “When you’re in a relationship or thinking about one, take notice of the person’s personal commitment traits,” Lowery says. “The truth is, if they can’t manage the simple details of day-to-day life, how on earth can they possibly handle the weightier issues that go with marital fidelity, raising children or providing for a family?”
- Consideration: This means having the ability to be thoughtful of the rights and feelings of others. It’s about being mindful that our actions have the potential to impact the people we are in a relationship with, and thinking about the wellbeing of our partners when making plans, setting goals or making major decisions.
- Compromise: It's all about flexibility. According to Lowery, resiliency and flexibility are the hallmarks of a successful person. “I wish I could tell you that life will be predictable one day. But sometimes no matter how much you plan or prepare, life is going to throw you some serious curve balls," she says. “You need to be a person that can ‘roll with the punches,’ and you need to be in relationship with someone who can do the same.”
If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t have those three basics down, then you’ll probably have to deal with at least one the following types of drama you’re too old to be dealing with: