“Women of Reddit, what has been your worst ‘nice guy’ experience?”, a redditor asked on AskReddit a few months ago. More than 6,800 comments flooded in, with hundreds of “nice guy” horror stories that will have you questioning the future of the human race. These stories run the gamut from cringe-worthy to flat-out scary, and they come with a simple lesson: Guys who are actually nice don’t tend to run around, declaring, “Hey, I’m a nice guy!” to the women around them.
Let’s make one thing clear from the start: There are plenty of lovely, considerate men out there who are genuinely kind, wonderful people. These are not those guys. If you’re a woman in the world, you’re probably familiar with the “nice guy” type: These are people who seem to believe that being “nice” to women entitles them to attention and/or sex. And, judging from these Reddit posts, at least, their definitions of “nice” can range from buying drinks to being friendly to simply not being actively aggressive.
A lot of these stories are horrifying. Some of the redditors complain of experiences in which a man they barely know responds to polite rejection with vitriol or even stalking. Other women recall times in their lives when they’ve discovered that a man they considered to be a genuine, platonic friend was really only being “nice” to them because he hoped for sex.
“It irks me that guys like that think that being ‘nice’ entitles them to some sort of reward and that if you refuse you're a jerk,” a redditor who goes by “desert_unicorn” commented. Redditor romulusjsp offered a guy’s perspective, writing,
Read on for tales of “nice guy” woe from women of Reddit. Clearly, these guys are not nearly as “nice” as they seem to think they are:
1. The NeverEnding Hug
That last line. Ugh.
2. Ode to Butt
This "friend"'s behavior is not OK... but also this story is AMAZING.
3. HE SENT HER HIS USED SHEETS GUYS
There is so much about this box of horrors that is creepy, but the "used bed sheets" bit made me physically cringe.
4. The "nice" tutor
Later in the thread, the original poster also clarified that the tutor was paid or received course credit from the university for his tutoring services. So his idea that simply doing his job entitles him to a date makes even less sense.
5. Paying does not equal sex.
Paying for drinks or dinner or anything else does not mean that the recipient owes access to her body to the giver. If the meal is a gift, then you shouldn't expect any payback. If the meal is part of a business arrangement... well, that's probably something that should be worked out up front.
6. She rejected him, so he outed her.
This guy certainly has a warped definition of "friend."
7. The Stalker
This terrifying specimen shot way past fake "nice guy" and hit "completely scary and dangerous" instead.
8. Avoiding conflict isn't the same as being nice.
As someone who has a hard time with confrontation, I feel for this guy a bit, but clearly he has a warped definition of "nice." Being nice doesn't mean that you never stand up for yourself or talk about your real feelings.
9. That escalated quickly.
From "let's be friends" to "we're getting married"? Eesh.
You can check out the whole Reddit thread here.