Apple's New "Drunk" Emoji Is Actually A "Woozy Face," But The Internet Has Other Plans

NBC; Apple

We’ve all been there: It’s late, we’ve had a drink or several, and texting every contact in our phone seems like a really good idea. Now, there’s a way to signify your state while tipsy texting because people think Apple is adding a drunk emoji. Well, technically, it’s called “Face With Uneven Eyes and Wavy Mouth” or “Woozy Face.” But, babe, we all know what's really happening here.

The new iOS update, iOS 12.1, includes the addition of some new emoji, as is typical of Apple system updates. Including skin and gender variations, Apple users will have 158 new emojis to add to their messaging vocabulary, including a bagel with cream cheese (thanks to a slew of angry New Yorkers), a single foot in varying skin tones (you’re welcome, wikifeet and I’m sorry, everyone else), and a peacock. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before our feathered friend is used as an emoji euphemism for genitalia. Fly away while you still can, peacock.

Among those 158 new emoji is our friend “Woozy Face.” Woozy’s cheeks are rosy. Its mouth is wiggly. Its eyes can’t decide if they’re open or closed. Woozy is toasty AF. The emojipedia description for our new emoji companion reads, “A face which may be showing signs of being tired and emotional, i.e. drunk.” If we’re doing word association, “tired and emotional” are the first words that come to mind when I think of “drunk.” But, like, they’re not the last words. Basically, all our drunk selves just got read by emojipedia.

“Woozy Face” doesn’t come with a variety of genders or skin tones. There is no blonde, brunette, or redhead Woozy Face. This is because in our collective drunk states, we are all Woozy Face: just a bald, lil circle with facial features just barely in the right place.

Even if you don’t drink, Woozy Face will come in handy. At a bar and a clearly intoxicated creep won’t leave you alone? Text an SOS with Woozy Face to your friend. Get a jumbled text from a friend at 2 a.m.? Text them Woozy Face and a question mark, the new universal sign for “You drunk right now?” Whatever string of nonsensical emoji they send back will answer your question. (Yes, they are drunk.)

Woozy Face doesn’t need to mean drunk in the literal sense or even “I am currently drunk.” Think of the possibilities for combining Woozy Face with other emoji. Woozy Face + Llama = this llama is acting drunk right now. What a perfect picture those two emojis paint. Woozy Face + Receipt = I was drunk and made a bunch of dumb purchases on Amazon Prime. Woozy Face is our relatable queen!

Woozy Face is a team player in that Woozy Face works with any and all of the new 158 emoji. Imagine Woozy Face next to a ball of yarn, a magnet, a petri dish, the flag for the United Nations, a badger, a lotion bottle (ew), a smiling face with three hearts, a bunch of hippos, a supervillain, or even a teddy bear. Woozy Face makes each of these emojis even better. Or worse, depending on your perspective. Yeah, Woozy Face + lotion bottle is definitely worse. Either way Woozy Face has changed us all. We are all different now, thanks to Woozy Face.

You don't have to wait long to start using Woozy Face. In fact, the iOS 12.1 update is available to download on most devices. So you can get the new emoji right now, including our pal Woozy Face. Just remember to drink and your emojis responsibly, friends.