The great Lauryn Hill once sang on The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, "I loved real real hard once / But the love wasn't returned / Thought the man I would die for / He wasn't even concerned." Ouch. For those who may have experienced heartbreak years ago, or for those who are nursing a fresh wound, getting your heart broken at one point or another is part of the human experience. Some will cry, some will find it hard to sleep, and some may drown their sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry's. But eventually we all seem to come out the other side — dare I even say — stronger because of it.
On this week's episode of The Bustle Huddle, we're talking heartbreak and our dating habits, and we're fixing our lives Iyanla Vanzant-style. My co-host, Bustle Associate Lifestyle Editor Tanya Ghahremani, and I were each paired with a dating expert to identify some of our patterns — and why it's helpful to identify our patterns. While I'm the sort to want to throw my broken heart into a trash bin (much like the photo above) after getting my heart broken and not accept many dates because I'm thinking about the one that got away, Tanya is the opposite. She has no problem going on dates, but ends up swiping right on the same kind of guy — the emotional unavailable type. On this episode, we're doing the work — literal homework — given to us by our dating coaches.
Tanya was paired with former professional matchmaker and current Elite Daily Sex and Relationships Editor Hannah Orenstein to get some motivation to leave the apps behind for a little while and meet people IRL. This tweak could possibly help her bond in person, Hannah says, and, therefore, help her meet more emotionally available men. Hannah's homework for Tanya: Set up three dates that will get her away from dating apps and help her make these connections.
And to help with mending my broken heart, I'm paired with Elle Huerta, founder and CEO of the Mend app, which is a resource for those who are going through heartbreak. In our conversation, Elle gave me homework: She wants me to plan Valentine's Day for myself, even though pink hearts and candy may not be top of mind for me right now.
If you're rethinking your dating habits, or opening yourself up to new possibilities, both Hannah and Elle share some brilliant advice that may inspire you. Tanya already gets an A+ from Hannah, as she's already set to go on three dates this month. As for me, I'm still processing Elle's incredible one-on-one advice — but at least I'm not wearing a black hoodie anymore, like I wore during the recording of this podcast. But considering Valentine's Day has always been like my second Christmas, I'm excited about making the sweetest plans for myself, and making happy Jada priority #1.