It's easy to have a good laugh on St. Patrick's Day, especially when you're guzzling down Guinness and getting your fill of Irish whiskey. However, even if you don't heavily drink on Mar. 17, you can still get a hearty chuckle from these funny St. Patrick's Day quotes rounded up below.
From Stephen Colbert to Jimmy Fallon, you'll find some of the biggest names in comedy in the quotation roundup below, and they're willing to poke fun at just about everything. You name it, they go there. Four-leaf clovers? Check. Irish stereotypes? Yup. America's ability to overdo it on the booze no matter the occasion (but especially on a day like St. Patty's)? You bet. My word of advice? Be ready to laugh as you scroll through these quotes, because if there's one thing they'll have you doing, it's rolling on the floor with a side ache.
Make sure to take advantage of the holiday this March, because the next big day of celebration really won't come until July 4, and that's a long time to wait. It might still be chilly outside, but that doesn't have to stop you from getting your Irish on, one green beer at a time.
1. "If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?" — Stanislaw J. Lec
2. "The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus. — Stephen Colbert
3. "I come from an Irish Family. St. Patrick's Day was our big holiday. The night before we'd hang up our stocking sand in the morning they'd be full of beer." — Sean Morey
4. "Do you suppose it's true, that St. Patrick was a parselmouth, and his muggle friends never knew?" — David J. Beard
5. "Same thing every year, getting up at the crack of dawn, drinking, fighting, throwing up, pissing on walls and then you leave the house and things get bad." — Greg Fitzsimmons
6. "St. Patrick… one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish." — Charles M. Madigan
7. "Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an OK day if you're looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer." — Jon Stewart