How To Feel More Comfortable Being Naked Around Someone New, According To Experts
Getting naked around someone new can be vulnerable, there's no two ways about it. Whether you feel emotionally exposed without clothes, have certain insecurities about your body, or simply get awkward, it's OK that being in the buff with a new person doesn't always feel fantastic. But know that there are definitely ways to feel more comfortable naked around a person for the first time that can help quell some of those nerves. And hey, you can even make the experience really freakin' enjoyable!
In part, getting comfortable being naked with another person when it has you feeling some feels is about doing things to prepare your body, mind, and surroundings to support you. And be gentle with yourself if you are having a hard time being ready or at ease.
"Setting the stage both mentally and physically helps you transition from being fully clothed and protected to undressing and being fully exposed and vulnerable," Dr. Jane Greer, New York-based marriage and sex therapist, tells Bustle. "[You can prepare] but still feel sexy and free to enjoy the experience."
The more you can think through what you might be feeling, the easier it will be to feel relaxed in your wondrous skin to have a great time. Here are eight tips to feel more comfortable being naked around someone new, according to experts.
1. Be Naked At Home On Your Own
Practice is key, you know? Spending more time naked can make you feel more used to it in general.
"To become more comfortable in your own skin, do what you normally do when you're at home alone, just try to do it in the nude," dating coach April Batz, tells Bustle. "This will make being naked feel more normal and natural, helping to decrease anxiety when being naked in front of someone else."
2. Wait Until You Feel Ready To Be Naked
Also, remember that there are no rules for when you should or should not be ready to be naked in front of someone else.
"If you're still feeling extremely uncomfortable with the idea of being naked in front of your new partner, maybe you aren't ready to show yourself to them in your entirety," Batz says. "That's totally OK! Take your relationship at a pace that's right for you."
3. Fantasize About It Ahead Of Time
Mental preparation is always a good thing.
"Fantasize ahead of time about being with a person," Dr. Greer says. "See the two of you together in bed, being intimate, or sitting up naked and talking afterward. Imagining these moments can help you feel more comfortable when it actually happens."
But don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't go exactly as planned. You might feel suddenly anxious in the moment, you might start sweating, or get tongue-tied. All good. Take it at your pace.
4. Be In Control Of The Environment
Being in control of your environment can go a long way towards helping you feel sexy and safe getting naked.
"Be in control of the room," Dr. Greer says. 'You may feel more at ease with dim lights, a lit candle, or the lights completely off. Do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable."
Have fun with it, too! You can blow out the candle before getting completely naked, Dr. Greer says. Add music to help you feel relaxed and ready for romance. Have a glass of wine to loosen your inhibitions — whatever makes you feel safe and like you can have a good time.
5. Know That They Are Probably Also Uncomfortable
You are in this together, after all. And let's be real, just about everyone can feel pretty self-conscious at the end of the day. Chances are if you get nervous about being naked, they probably feel it, too.
"Keep in mind that [the other person] is likely feeling equally uncomfortable, and your confidence will help you both feel more at ease," Dr. Greer says.
And remember, you can also communicate your discomfort. It might be really helpful for both of you to simply say "wow, this makes me feel shy."
6. Remember That It Can Be Fun
Remember that being naked with someone new doesn’t have to be a serious endeavor, Dr. Greer says.
"Being naked makes people feel silly and may even make you laugh," Dr. Greer says. "It can be playful and lighthearted, so lean into it and enjoy the experience."
7. Do Things That Make You Feel Good In General
Generally being in touch with yourself and caring for your wellbeing, whatever that means to you, can really help in the self-love department. It can boost self-acceptance and appreciation of your body no matter what, Batz says.
If it's specifically connecting your body that you want to try working on, doing anything from taking baths, exercising, meditating, dancing, or masturbating are all good examples of ways you can practice feeling embodied.
8. Ignore Negative Outside Influences
Easier said than done, for sure. But as much as you can, remove those outside influences that make you feel any kind of shame or inadequacy when it comes to being who you are.
Try your best to ignore how the media portrays what a sexy body should look like, Batz says. That goes for things like negative self-talk, or going to exercise classes where people talk about "changing your body for the better."
Remember that feeling some resistance or discomfort being naked with others is totally understandable. With a little practice and preparation, it gets a lot easier.