Being able to connect with another person on a deeper level is one of the most rewarding things about being in a relationship. But having an emotional connection with someone requires you to be vulnerable. For some, that's really risky, especially if you've been burned before. So what can you do to make opening up to your partner less scary when you're the emotionally unavailable one in your relationship?
If you're looking for a healthy relationship, it's typically recommended to stay away from people who are "emotionally unavailable." But as couples coaches Roman and Rochelle Urias of Harmonized Tribe, tell Bustle, "Being emotionally unavailable isn’t uncommon. It’s usually found in every relationship to some degree." There's likely going to be one person that's a little more emotionally invested in the relationship than the other, they say. It doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want to be in the relationship, but may use it as a form of protection.
It's easy to write off someone who's emotionally unavailable as one who doesn't have feelings or want closeness. But this is usually the farthest thing from the truth. "They just have never had success in knowing or sharing their feelings," Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Lucy Bichsel, Ph.D., tells Bustle. For some, past trauma from childhood can also play a role in this. Regardless of why this happens, being all-in emotionally is too risky. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't take that risk.
So if you're the emotionally unavailable one in the relationship, here's how you can make opening up seem a lot less scary, according to experts.