How To Spring Clean Your Dating Life
Spring has traditionally been viewed as a time of rebirth, and as such, it's an ideal time for us to take a step back, reassess our lives, and make changes. But spring cleaning doesn't solely apply to sprucing up your closets and organizing your apartment; it also means that you can take time to make changes to your dating habits.
For me, spring cleaning my dating life means I am taking a concerted effort to reflect on how my actions are aligning with my desires and my needs, and if I am truly devoting the proper mental and physical energy towards attracting my ideal partner. This spring, I have devoted myself to Bustle's App-Less April challenge, during which time I will delete all my dating apps. My hope is that I gain insight into how my dating habits affect my energy, and how I could channel this energy into cultivating the best version of myself.
"Now is the perfect time to reflect on what kind of person you want to call in, what your ideal dating situations are, and (most importantly!) how you need to show up in order to up level your dating life."
"Spring is the perfect time to plant new seeds and clear out existing things that no longer work," Amy Baglan, the CEO and Founder of MeetMindful, a dating app and website that is for singles who value mindfulness, tells Bustle. "Often we can get stuck repeating the same habits in dating — trouble is, if those habits aren't helping then we have to shift them. Now is the perfect time to reflect on what kind of person you want to call in, what your ideal dating situations are, and (most importantly!) how you need to show up in order to up level your dating life. Start small, water the things that are working, and watch them come to life!"
Here are Baglan's recommendations for how you can spring clean your dating life:
1. Get Clear On What You Want First
As you enter into a new, fresh chapter of your dating life, it's imperative that you set intentions. You shouldn't enter this season blindly, but instead with a clear vision of the partner that you want to attract. Invest time in reflecting on the qualities that you want in a partner, and more importantly, on your emotional needs in a relationship.
"Write a list of qualities that you desire in a partner — get as indulgent and detailed as you wish," she says. "Keep this list somewhere safe and rest in the comfort that you have clarity in what's most important to you. This will help you recognize it faster when you find it."
2. Remember to Attract Positivity
In order to manifest positivity, you must radiate it, because we attract the energy that we give off. This spring, it's time to ditch negativity and pessimism and begin with a fresh start:
"It's important to write in positive terms of what you want, instead of saying what you don't want," she says. "There's a saying, 'The Universe doesn't hear negatives', meaning that you can unintentionally manifest exactly what you don't want when you continually focus on this."
3. Look For The Great Qualities In Every Person You Meet
We all have some notion of the qualities that we would like to find in our ideal partner. And while it is helpful to have an understanding of your needs and desires, you should stray away from immediately discounting potential partners if they don't meet every single quality.
"Just because they aren't 'The One' doesn't mean you can't appreciate the wonderful qualities they possess," Baglan says. "This immediately makes dating more fun!"
4. Actively Pursue Meeting Like-Minded People
One reason your dating life may feel stuck in a rut is because it exists entirely online or only through a small social circle — whether it be because of your penchant for dating apps or because you tend to date within the same crowd of people. The real world outside of your phone is full of spaces and opportunities to meet like-minded people, Baglan reminds. So use this season as an opportunity to venture out of your comfort zone and make a mindful effort to explore and meet new people.
"If you're into art, go to a weekend art meetup," she says. "If you're into things like wellness or spirituality, check out places like MeetMindful, a dating and community for conscious singles."
5. Practice Being Upfront When You Don't Want To See Someone Again
As you engage in the dating world this spring, there are bound to be partners with whom you feel no connection. The connection may sometimes be one-sided, and it can be difficult to reject someone if they are trying to initiate conversation or another date. Baglan tells Bustle that being honest and upfront is the best approach to take in these situations. You can turn someone down without any lingering guilt or superfluous negativity.
"Find your favorite way to do this with kindness — for example: 'I had a great time getting to know you, and you're awesome. I don't see a romantic connection, but wish you the best of luck," Baglan says.
As this new season begins, enter it with an open mind and set intentions. With a renewed vision and set of priorities for your dating life, you can manifest what your heart truly desires.