After competing on Nick Viall's Bachelor season and finding love on Bachelor in Paradise Season 4, Raven Gates knows this franchise inside and out, and she's dishing all to Bustle. Now, read what Raven has to say about Arie's dramatic Bachelor finale.
I have a confession... some tea to spill, if you will. I’m not even going to make you read this whole article to spill it, either. I’m going to tell you right now. I’ve known this whole time that Arie was back together with Lauren after The Bachelor. How? Because Lauren was at Adam's and my house in Dallas when she received her first phone call from Arie on New Year’s Eve. Boom. I said it... Now, let’s talk about this sh*t show.
I don’t know where to start. Even though I want to be positive toward Arie and Lauren, because no one deserves THIS much hate, this isn’t a Jason Mesnick story. Jason was SO torn up during his proposal, he initially broke up with Melissa behind closed doors, and he had SO much empathy toward both women. With Arie, we have to call a spade a spade. Arie kind of cheated on Becca with Lauren by talking to one woman while still with the other. Arie made sure that Lauren was going to take him back before he broke up with Becca. That is just a fact.
Let me backtrack a little bit here, though, and tell you a little about the incident of Arie first contacting Lauren while in Dallas. Adam and I flew in on New Year's Day, the night of the premiere, from LA where we were visiting Adam’s family and a few of our Bachelor friends. We missed the original airing of the show, but Lauren and Tia had stayed at our place for two days to visit each other while we weren’t there. Since Adam and I were on the flight when the show originally aired, Tia and Lauren watched it again with us... and that was the day that Arie called Lauren.
She stepped out and took the phone call. I didn’t know if she was upset or if she was nervous after talking with him, but Lauren didn’t talk a lot. I’ve been holding that secret about the phone call in with Rachel Lindsay (and Tia and Adam) for the longest time. I swore to Tia I wouldn’t tell, but Tia and Lauren both admitted it last night, so I figure I’m in the clear now.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest… Let’s talk about the actual breakup. I HATED the way Arie broke up with Becca. He told her so coldly without any emotion or empathy. This is such a huge red flag to me. This woman was your fiancée for crying out loud!
Arie then turned around and acted toward Lauren like his engagement to Becca wasn’t that big of a deal. Like it didn’t count because he was still thinking of Lauren. I’m sorry, but you led Becca on to believe she had a forever with you, blindsided her with a breakup, and then acted like she knew this was going to happen because you had been “open” with her about your feelings? No. I don't think so.
Arie seemed like he was plotting and scheming to get back with Lauren, all behind Becca's back. All while Becca thought Arie was closing one chapter because she had been the bigger woman and let him contact Lauren to get closure. But this wasn’t closure. This was swinging the door wide open —and that’s exactly what Lauren did. She swung the door open with open arms.
There are some things that I really don’t understand when it comes to Lauren accepting Arie back with open arms. Literally open. When he arrived at her house to "beg for forgiveness," she leaped right into his arms before even saying hello. Can we at least ACT like you haven’t seen or talked to him since the breakup? I personally wouldn’t run into someone’s arms that picked another girl over me. I don’t care if we were playing dodgeball, if Adam Gottschalk picked a girl over me to be on his team — HE CHOSE SOMEONE OVER ME, and I’m not OK with that. Especially since this isn’t dodgeball. This is an engagement.
Does it not worry Lauren that he not only CHOSE SOMEONE OVER HER, but then was sliding into her DMs as an engaged man? (And apparently other contestants DMs, thanks to Bekah M.’s screen shots she posted.) Where is his integrity? A leopard doesn’t change its spots. Don’t you know the risk is high for him to do the same toward you, Lauren? You may not be the exception to the rule.
Anyway, after barely any questioning at all, Lauren told Arie she doesn’t want to wait much longer for an engagement. I first thought, Did I hear that right?? It made me sick to my stomach. But then I remembered that they have been talking since that night at Adam’s house. This whole scene was just for TV, because the first conversation was had when he was still officially with Becca — months ago.
Lauren also said she didn’t watch the finale, including the breakup with Becca. I don’t know if I would, either, if I were her, but I do think it would be good for her to see. I want to believe that Lauren isn’t watching because she is sticking by her decision of being with Arie and it doesn’t matter to her. But I can't help but believe that Lauren isn’t watching because it could tear her and Arie’s relationship apart and that maybe she would see some errors in what Arie has told her. There are things Lauren seemingly doesn't want to believe. And she’s adamantly closing her eyes to major red flags.
As for Lauren's hope that an engagement was close at hand... well, it was. I can’t deal with how Arie proposed to Lauren in the atmosphere of After the Final Rose. It just seemed so dirty. The camera crew shot to Lauren’s parents made me think her mom wasn’t happy about it, either. My mom said, “If that was you, I’d be livid.” I was DYING to see a scene of Lauren’s parents reacting, because wasn’t it Lauren’s dad who said, “I’ll f*cking kill him" about Arie during Hometowns? Yes, it was. But, whether they agree with Lauren’s decision or not, I was happy to see that they were there to support her.
Meanwhile, Becca’s going to be just fine. She deserves more than a gold medal for her elegance and grace during this whole thing. Did anyone else catch Becca say, “Hold [Lauren’s] heart high” to Arie? Wow. What a stand-up woman. We could all learn a few things from her. Being broken up with sucks, but what's better than being broken up with than getting 25-plus guys to date and travel across the word with? This “journey” will be one for the books!
In closing, I just have two hopes for this whole sh*t show of a situation: I hope Becca finds the Adam to her Raven... and I hope Lauren and Arie prove me wrong.
Thanks so much for reading my recaps this season. You can keep up with all my latest thoughts and projects over on Instagram. Bye!